Alerion
by xxSilverEchoxx
Summary: Sasu/Saku and slight Ita/Saku. Just when Sasuke's life grew calm, Naruto came to school high—eyes bloodshot, smile blank—and said, "I got it from this one girl. Her name—her name was..." For a moment, Naruto's eyes flashed clear. "Her name was Sakura."
1. Anodyne

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning:_ dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the First:

:

_Anodyne_

He was the perfect child. He never smoked, never cheated, never lied. He was the perfect child, and all for parents who were already dead. Still, he was perfect for them, and he promised himself never to change.

That is, until the day Naruto showed up to college high, and he learned that while he may strive to be perfect, he could not fight against destiny.

And so destiny crept in, its many jagged edges tearing apart everything, its black gaze set infinitely, its mouth gaping, swallowing, devouring…

And, piece by piece, destiny ensued chaos upon his world.

* * *

><p>Bells chimed off in the distance. A church, perhaps. Maybe someone was getting married. Or, for that matter, maybe it was the chiming of sorrow, and someone had died.<p>

Sasuke folded his arms across his chest and frowned slightly. If Naruto did not arrive within the next minute, Sasuke would make sure no elegant bells would chime at the blonde's funeral.

A person yawned, deep and wholesome, ten feet behind him.

Sasuke turned around and narrowed his eyes at the sleepy figure that was now presented before him. "Where have you been? Class is about to start."

Naruto grinned, the corners of his mouth pulling out slowly. "Sasuke," he said, his voice raspy (instantly, Sasuke was alarmed - the blonde never called him by his first name), "you won't believe what I got last night."

The Uchiha smirked slightly. "What, your first lay? Congratulations."

Naruto didn't even seem to hear him. Instead, his glazed eyes shifted to focus on a nearby tree, and his smile grew; but it grew as if moving through mud. "Nah, man. Something completely different." His fingers twitched, and then clenched. His eyes turned back to the Uchiha. They were bloodshot. "I got my first high."

Sasuke froze.

Naruto continued, eyes glassy, smile wide, hands shaking, "I got my first high, and it was the best thing I've ever done."

* * *

><p>Naruto was a stimulant addict. Although he'd once said he'd tried LSD, and preferred not to be thrown into a hallucination for seven straight hours. His first was marijuana, but then again, Naruto never was the one to go for depressants. He loved the rush of cocaine, he said, the euphoria of ecstasy. At raves, he'd maybe even take a hit of crystal meth, just for the heck of it.<p>

He wanted his body to be alive with awareness, he explained.

And Sasuke would always, always remember what his best friend had said on his first day of hell: "I got it from this one girl. She had the craziest hair - pink, if I remember - and the brightest green eyes you've ever seen. And her name…her name was…"

For a moment, Naruto's eyes flashed clear.

"Her name was Sakura."

* * *

><p>His first rave was the second mark of his blooming chaos.<p>

Naruto's eyes were bright with expectation that night as he drove down what seemed like endless darkened streets. They were a good fifty miles from home, but the blonde claimed it was worth the drive. The place, Naruto had said, was simply called "Paradise from Within." It was located in the basement of an abandoned cigarette factory, and in all its two years of existence, the police had still not caught on.

Naruto led him through a hole in the chain-link fence surrounding the grey building and into the open door of the factory. Inside, various different machines were lined against one another, and a steady haze filled the stagnant air.

"Come on," Naruto urged. He was eager.

Sasuke frowned, but followed still to a hidden stairwell in the corner of the immense room. From there, he could feel the pulse of music and smell the acrid stench of marijuana.

Down he went.

* * *

><p>"There she is," Naruto shouted (compared to the overwhelming techno music and crowd, his voice seemed like a whisper). His blue eyes were steadily focused on a girl dancing in the middle of the group, transfixed with wonder and admiration.<p>

Sasuke followed his gaze.

And there stood the very object of his torment.

For a split second, he saw her. She was beautiful, intoxicating in the way she swayed back and forth, her hips moving and arms pumping above her head. She wore a black tank top and grey shorts that Sasuke swore were the length of other girls' underwear. Her hair was shoulder-length and pink, with many layers and slash-cut bangs that slanted across her left eye, nearly shielding it whole. Her eyes, so intensely green, were focused on her partner of the moment: a tall man with black hair shot through with artificial red. As the music quickened, she pressed her body against him, and, as his arms came to wrap around her waist, pressed her mouth to his.

And then the rest of the crowd moved, and she was lost amongst the moving, grinding, sweating bodies.

"So she's the one?" he asked, turning to Naruto, whose gaze was still focused on the crowd.

"Yep," the blonde answered, his eyes filled with obvious lust. "That's Sakura."

* * *

><p><strong>anodyne<strong>

\AN-uh-dyn\ , adjective;

- serving to relieve pain; soothing.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Review?

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	2. Supernal

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning:_ dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Second:

:

_Supernal_

:

* * *

><p>"Sakura, over here! Hey, Sakura!" Naruto's loud voice finally reached the pink-haired girl, and she turned around with a smile on her face. She had just walked off the dance floor, and Sasuke saw several beads of sweat on her forehead. Her cheeks were flushed, her eyes bright with excitement.<p>

"Naruto, I'm glad you could make it!" she said as she approached them. "Did you just get here?"

Naruto grinned and nodded. "Those last few pills were the best I've had, so I just had to come back for more."

"Ah." Sakura winked. "Ecstasy's always a good one. And you're in luck - I just got a new batch today from the best chemist I know." She reached up to push her bangs away from her face, and then shifted her eyes to Sasuke. "And who do we have here? Your friend?"

"Yep," Naruto responded, hooking a thumb in Sasuke's direction. "This is the number one ass in the world, Sasuke Uchiha."

Sakura froze abruptly, her gaze focused intensely on Sasuke. "Uchiha, you say?" she questioned evenly.

Frowning, Sasuke nodded.

"I believe you," she said, eyes curious. "You look a lot like Itachi. I actually though you were him for a second there."

It was Sasuke's turn to freeze. "You - you know Itachi?" he drew out slowly, his fingers clenching and unclenching.

"I did. I haven't seen him in years, though," she answered softly. "We used to work together."

Sasuke couldn't seem to get his mind to function. "But he works for the Konoha Police Department - it all he's ever worked for."

"Wait. Sakura," Naruto intervened, his eyes wide, "you're meaning to say that you were a cop?"

"Actually, Itachi and I were detectives together," she responded, a strange, foreign light in her eyes. "That is, until I le - _quit_ - two years ago. We had worked together for two years before that." She shook her head slightly. "Does he still live with you, Sasuke? Or have you moved out?"

"I moved out when I graduated high school," Sasuke answered coldly. "How is it that you were a detective? You don't look a day over twenty."

"I'm twenty-four, actually. Naruto told me you're both a year younger." They nodded, and she continued, "I graduated high school early when I was sixteen because of my extra-curricular work and good grades, and instantly began training in the Police Force." Her brows furrowed. "I remember Itachi saying something about you once a long time ago. Hearing your name brought back those memories. I'm guessing he never told you anything about me." She smiled weakly before saying, "Funny how you ended up here, Sasuke. You'd think someone with such a strict brother would know better."

His teeth clenched. "And you would think someone who worked for the Police Department would think twice before becoming a drug dealer."

Sakura shrugged. "We all have our reasons," she said, and it was spoken so quietly Sasuke could barely hear.

He opened his mouth, about to ask what those reasons were - _ask just how the hell a member of the police force became a criminal_ - when Sakura began to speak again.

"So," she continued, her eyes fixed on Sasuke's with a calculating curiosity, "I can see you've never used before."

He blinked.

Naruto laughed. "That's why I brought him here. I wanted his first to be something from you - you always have the best, Sakura."

The pink-haired girl-woman smiled vibrantly. "You say this, yet you've only been my costumer for a month."

"I've taken a lot in that month," Naruto replied, his gaze never leaving her.

For a split second, Sasuke thought he saw her frown, but then it disappeared, and the smile was once again apparent on her face.

She turned back to Sasuke. "Well, I have just the right thing for you. Come with me."

Sasuke followed her as she began to walk toward the corner of the basement, where a door was located. She told him to wait for her, and when she appeared from the door, a small joint was held in her hand.

He frowned. "Marijuana?"

She tilted her head to the side. "We call it embalming fluid around here. It's marijuana dipped in PCP. You don't have to pay - first one's on the house. As long as you remember not to say anything about me to Itachi or anyone else, I think I can reduce the prices for what you'll buy in the future. But just for you - nobody else."

She held it out to him, along with a lighter, and then smiled. "Enjoy, and welcome to paradise."

* * *

><p>That day became the first of many. He lived for the high, lived for the raves and the pandemonium. He came to love disorganization - in an improbable way, inadequacy became his foundation. And to gain inadequacy, he needed the drugs.<p>

And to gain the drugs, he needed _her_.

His chaos. His reliability. His destruction and torture, life and necessity.

His soul's very own addiction.

_Sakura._

* * *

><p>His first hit, he remembered, was the opening of a new portal. When he inhaled for the first time, he felt the smoke travel heavily to his lungs, and, a few seconds later, the subtle effects upon his mind.<p>

So, curious, he inhaled again.

And again. And again and again and again -

Until, finally, it was gone.

...and so was he.

* * *

><p>Later that night, Sasuke found Naruto and Sakura at the very edge of the crowd, smiling and laughing together. His high had nearly worn off completely, and he felt in desperate need for a nap, or, more appealingly, another joint.<p>

Slowly, he made his way over to them, but paused when he saw Sakura's dancing partner from earlier walk up to her and place his hands on her hips. She glanced back, a soft smile growing on her face, and leaned into the man's chest.

Sasuke saw Naruto frown and narrow his eyes.

"Excuse me, if you will," she said as the man began to run his lips down her neck, "but I have some unfinished business to attend to."

And, with a wink, she grabbed her partner's hand, and led him away from the dance floor, into the room at the far corner of the basement.

Before the door closed completely, Sasuke caught a glimpse of Sakura pulling her shirt over her head.

Suddenly, the need for another joint intensified.

* * *

><p>Naruto glared at the door before he turned away and took a heavy swig of his beer. "Damn," he muttered. "I can't believe she'd really go screw that freaking jerk. He's a good-for-nothing, worthless piece of shit."<p>

But Sasuke wondered.

And he wondered if, in reality, they were any better.

* * *

><p>She had piercings, Sasuke realized. He noticed it as she and Naruto conversed beside him; it was nearly four a.m., and people were beginning to leave while others simply passed out on the floor.<p>

He hadn't been able to make them out earlier, but now, as the lighting changed from strobes and blindingly colorful flashes to a more steady neon blue, he could see them clearly. She had a pair of steel, pointed snake bites below her bottom lip, and one small steel ball on her nose. When she pushed her hair behind her ears, he could see that she had two regular piercings in each ear - two the shape of lightning bolts and the other two just plain neon-green balls, with one of each type on each ear - which totaled to four. The last one (at least that he could see - he felt his cheeks grown warm at the thought that she might have others in more secluded places) was an industrial steel bar going through the top of her right ear.

She looked dangerous: rash and uncontrollable. Her pale green eyes flickered with awareness and intensity, dynamism and chaos. Her many piercings gave off an instant vibe of someone who lived in the tempest of the world so many others shunned.

To Sasuke, she was mesmerizing.

* * *

><p><strong>supernal<strong>

\soo-PUR-nuhl\ , adjective;

- being in or coming from the heavens or a higher place or region.

- relating or belonging to things above; celestial; heavenly.

- lofty; of surpassing excellence.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Thank you to those of you who reviewed! I very much appreciate it. Now, if you're going to press the favorite button, or the story alert button, please leave me a comment, also! This is my first time writing something so dark, so I'll need the constructive criticism.

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. Don't do drugs. They ruin you, trust me. I myself haven't done drugs before (and I'm not planning to), but I've seen the consequences in my family alone. Just…don't. You'll see later on that this story is teaching a lesson.


	3. Phantasmagoria

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Third:

:

_Phantasmagoria _

:

* * *

><p>Sasuke waited until eight o'clock the next evening - he didn't want any effects of the night before to linger visibly - before heading over to Itachi's apartment. They hadn't seen each other in over a month, but Sasuke had been expecting a visit from his brother sooner or later. Itachi would usually stop by Sasuke's own apartment at random just to check on the younger Uchiha, although those meetings were more often than not quiet and lacking in conversation - they way they liked it, and the way they both were comfortable with. Sometimes, however, they would sit - never facing each other, never making eye contact - and quietly remember their parents, remember all the laughter and radiance that used to come with every passing day.<p>

Presently, Sasuke had other plans.

He briskly walked up the stone stairway that led to Itachi's single apartment and knocked relentlessly on the door. After about ten seconds, he whipped out his copy of the key and was about to place it in the keyhole when the door opened.

Itachi stood facing him, an inquisitive look in his obsidian gaze. "Sasuke," he greeted smoothly, holding the door out further to allow the younger Uchiha to pass through. "How unusual for you to visit me. Come on in - I was just making dinner."

Immediately, the strong aroma of spaghetti reach Sasuke's senses. He felt his stomach growl - the only thing he'd had to eat that day was a bagel and a bowl of cereal - as he made his way down the short hallway (Itachi trailing silently behind him) and into the kitchen. He took a seat at one of the tall chairs that was connected to the bar-like counter facing the stove, and watched as his brother poured half of the cooked noodles into a bowl.

"Sauce?" Itachi asked, voice neutral.

Sasuke just nodded jerkily, hands clenching under the table. He happily began to shove the spaghetti down his throat when it was placed before him, watching from the corner of his eye as Itachi sat beside him and ate at a much slower pace.

"Slow down, Sasuke," Itachi said, slightly amused. "You'll choke."

Sasuke paused to glare at the elder Uchiha before continuing at the same speed.

"Itachi," Sasuke began, his now-empty bowl shoved to the side, "do you know a girl by the name of Sakura Haruno?"

Itachi's spoon froze from its path to his mouth, and then he placed it roughly back in his bowl, turning to face Sasuke in his seat, piercing onyx eyes narrowed. "I do, as a matter of fact. What I want to know is how _you _know her."

Sasuke's gaze turned wary. "I just heard her name come up a couple of times," he lied smoothly. "What is she to you?"

"She was my partner in the Detective Bureau of the Police Force for two years." Itachi's voice was bland. "She disappeared two years ago, with no record of her whereabouts or her destination. If you've heard anything about her - if you know where she is - you need to tell me, Sasuke."

Sasuke completely ignored his brother's last statement, instead asking, completely stunned, "How could she just disappear? Shouldn't you guys have been able to find her?"

The hard line of Itachi's lips softened minutely. "Sakura was very skilled at her job. She found things and solved problems not even I could. Around two years ago, she was assigned an undercover position. Her mission was to blend in with the world of drugs and drug dealers and the like, learn their ways, gain their trust and information, and then expose them to the police. I was completely against it - she was still so young, so small and fragile. But the Department believed her to be best for the job since she'd had a healthy amount of undercover training. To top it all off, she was thrilled. So she accepted." Itachi's eyes lowered to stare at his abandoned spaghetti. "Everything was going well - she gave her reports, and was well on her way to discovering everything she could about the drug world - until when, one day, she just disappeared." Itachi's obsidian orbs were blank and impassive, not revealing anything. "The reports stopped coming, and we couldn't get a hold of her. All contact was severed. The Detective Bureau was given the job of finding her." His hand reached up to his head, his fingers pressing at his temple.

Sasuke frowned. He'd never seen Itachi so distraught over anything, and he briefly wondered why he hadn't been told this story when it happened. But then he remembered that all of Itachi's work was classified - he wasn't sure if he was supposed to be hearing what Itachi was telling him presently, but didn't care either way: he was desperate for any information about Sakura.

"I tried to find her," Itachi continued, voice hard. "I used everything in my ability to trace where she had been. We found that she had cashed some of the money held in her accounts, and left the rest under an account the bank said Sakura had ordered to be transferred to me when I visited." His gaze grew slightly wistful.

Sasuke wasn't used to seeing his brother so expressive of his emotions - it unsettled him a little.

"Seventy-thousand dollars," he said softly. "She left me seventy-thousand dollars. I can only guess it was because I had once told her our parents had spent most of the family money gambling and such. I told her that you and I were having trouble paying off your college expenses, and that you refused to share an apartment with me, so you worked multiple part-time jobs to pay your rent. I told her that money was still tight, but - I _never _expected any help from anybody. She gave it to us anyway." Itachi locked his gaze with Sasuke's. "For two years now, she has been missing. We couldn't follow her movements, couldn't find anything about her. Everything she would need to cover her tracks was given to her through experience - she was a skilled detective, so she knew exactly the things we would look for, and she evaded us. Eventually, the case was put to the side. If she had died, we wouldn't know it. If she is alive, we still wouldn't know it."

Sasuke tried to quell the rapid pounding of his heart, the urge to voice what his mind was thinking: _Oh, she is very much alive, Itachi. And now she's one of the very people she was sent to catch. _But something else, something larger and more potent, was directing him otherwise, and so he kept his mouth shut.

"That is why," Itachi continued flatly, "you need to tell me if you know anything about Sakura. This is supposed to be classified information, but if it can get me closer to anything about her, I'll risk the consequences."

_If only you knew what she's up to now, Brother._

Sasuke merely shook his head. "I told you, I just heard her name a couple times. Back to Sakura: what happened to her family? How did they react?"

Itachi frowned. "The only thing she ever told me was that her parents died when she was still in high school. I don't know anything else."

Sasuke blinked, and then suddenly shot out of his seat, placed his empty bowl into the sink, and began to walk toward the door. "Thanks for the meal, Itachi," he called, and promptly slammed the door shut, leaving his brother to his own suspicious thoughts.

* * *

><p>Sasuke came to a conclusion: he wouldn't speak a word of his newfound information to Sakura, wouldn't let her know how much he knew about her past life.<p>

In reality, he was afraid she would disappear from him, fade away to a place where he wouldn't be able to try to understand what was beneath her actions, where he wouldn't be able to find out who Sakura Haruno _really_ was.

He would keep Itachi from becoming wary, and wouldn't give away Sakura's whereabouts.

Sasuke found that even to himself, his reasons for doing so weren't very stable or clear. All he knew was that he had to keep Sakura with him. He could feel the need for more drugs burning uncontrollably. He wanted more of what she had to offer. He _needed _her.

And he had to learn more.

* * *

><p>Over the days, it began to cling like perfume to Sasuke's clothes. And, over the days, it began to <em>smell<em> like perfume to him.

But he didn't care. He became lost in the pulses, lost in the music, lost in the sweat and the dancing and the smoke and the haze and the _absolute perfectly pure nothingness _-

Ironic, he thought. His drug of choice, and its name.

Marijuana dipped in PCP. Phencyclidine. Embalming fluid. Super grass.

Ironic, he thought. He was slowly getting lost in his own personal hell, associating with the devil, and he was addicted to it.

_Angel dust._

* * *

><p>Naruto was floating again. Sasuke could tell by his eyes. The blonde stumbled across the room, smiling vibrantly, before he walked up to the Uchiha and created a gun with his thumb and index finger, pointing it straight at Sasuke's eyelevel.<p>

Naruto laughed, and began to sing. "Your knife, my back! My gun, your head! Your knife, my back! My gun, your…"

He dropped to the floor, unconscious.

Sasuke stood frozen for a moment, and then exited the room. He had better things to do than to baby-sit a twenty-three-year-old idiotic blonde.

* * *

><p><em>Just stand up and scream<em>

_The tainted clock is counting down_

_You gave into me_

_Would you say the nights are far too long now?_

* * *

><p>"You see, Sasuke," Sakura began, and took a large swig of her vodkaKool-Aid mix before she continued, "in places like these" - her hand gestured to the pulsating mass of sweating bodies and strobe lights around them - "there isn't anything sugar-coated. Nobody here is innocent or pure. They are not sinless. They are not in their right mind. They are all corrupted in one way or another. And the best part is" - she smiled softly - "is that they all like it that way. We all like it this way, I should say. We like the haze, like the feeling of non-reality that is brought to us by the drugs, the music, the sex. We are all brought here by some reason, and it is here that we find peace away from what is true."

"If you say you - we - are all corrupted in some way, then…" His onyx eyes gazed intensely into her clear (surprising, considering the amount of drinks she'd had) pale jade orbs. "…then what is your reason? Why are you corrupted?"

_Why did you choose this life?_

She froze for a moment, and then her fingers tightened around her glass. "Honestly," she said, smiling, "I don't remember."

* * *

><p><strong>phantasmagoria<strong>

\fan-taz-muh-GOR-ee-uh\ , noun;

- a shifting series or succession of things seen or imagined, as in a dream.

- any constantly changing scene.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I do believe the legal age (United States-wise, at least) to become a cop/detective - or to work in the Department in general - is twenty-one, but we're going to pretend it's less than that for this story. :)

Oh, and please, please review!

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

(By the way: does anyone else think Pein is hot? Or is it just me?)


	4. Ephemeron

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Fourth:

:

_Ephemeron_

:

* * *

><p>"Sasuke? Is that you?"<p>

His eyes widened as he whirled around only to come face-to-face with a girl with deep, long black hair pulled into a ponytail and bright green eyes. It took him a moment to realize that it was Sakura - she just had a wig on. She tilted her head to the side as she smiled up at him. "Ah, so it is you! How are you doing? I haven't seen you since that party a week ago."

Sasuke blinked, and looked around the low-class restaurant he had just entered before focusing his gaze on her once again. "What are you doing here?" he asked bluntly. "And why do you have a wig on?"

She grinned and pointed to the nametag above her breast. "I work here as a waitress." She glanced around. "Here, they don't require any paperwork or full names. As long as you show up and work, you get paid. And my pink hair is too noticeable for the real world. I always wear a wig out here." She turned to him, eyes full of mirth. "May I show you to your table? Or is there someone else joining you?"

He frowned, and answered flatly, "Naruto was supposed to be coming with me, but you know how that goes."

Sakura frowned along with him. "I'm a little worried about him," she said quietly as she began to lead Sasuke to his table.

His teeth clenched. "You're the one who got him started - got me started - and yet you say you're worried about him?" he lashed out, unrelenting. "Shouldn't you be worried more about yourself?"

She paused in her tracks, and then slowly turned to meet his molten obsidian gaze. "You're absolutely right," she said softly, her eyes brewing with something he couldn't identify. "I guess I have no room to talk."

With that, she turned back around and stopped next to an open table, saying steadily, her expression neutral, "You may sit here, sir. Can I get you anything to start with?"

His chest tightened as he took her offered seat, and quietly ordered himself a glass of water. She remained cool, indifferent almost, as she spoke to him, only talking when asking what he wanted to eat or if he needed anything else.

Under the table, his hand balled into a fist.

Damn it.

He'd lost his chance to understand her, and would probably never get it back.

* * *

><p><em>Oh my God<em>

_(Oh my f**king God)_

_The tears that stain my cheeks make me look weak_

_I wear them proudly,_

_I wear them proud_

* * *

><p>Apparently, she changed atmospheres pretty quickly, for while she was emotionless with Sasuke, she smiled and laughed with the other young men she attended to - and they certainly seemed to enjoy it. She openly flirted with them, placing a hand on their backrests and cocking her hip to the side, her smile never ending, her eyes alight with gratification.<p>

Sasuke's gaze focused on a certain male in particular: one with spiky, disarranged orange hair and strange, light-violet ringed eyes. He had the same snake bite piercings as Sakura, along with three steel bars going through the bridge of his nose, and six small steel rings along the rim of each of his ears. Along with that, there were two long steel bars going through the top all the way through the bottom of each ear.

The man stared at Sakura with blank eyes, his chin placed atop his folded hands, elbows resting on the table. Beside him sat four others: a stoic redhead, a loud blonde, a silver-haired man with an endless use of profanity, and a single blue-haired female.

They were seated across the restaurant, so Sasuke couldn't hear what they were saying as Sakura laughed at some remark the blonde male made.

Sasuke had just finished with his meal when the group stood up to leave. As the rest headed for the door, the orange-haired man lingered near their table, his violet, ringed eyes focused on Sakura as she finished with her latest costumer (a puppy-eyed boy with messy chestnut hair who seemed to be no older than sixteen - his turquoise eyes trailed Sakura nearly wherever she went) and made her way over to him. The man's lips twitched up into a small half-smirk-half-smile as she came to stand in front of him.

Sasuke watched as Sakura's lips moved quickly - words unheard to him - and then stopped, her lowered eyes focused on the man's mouth as he leaned down, one hand moving to rest on her shoulder, and pressed a gentle kiss to her waiting lips, their identical snake bite piercings brushing lightly.

When the man pulled away, Sakura smiled, and Sasuke almost missed seeing the wad of money the man pressed into her hand as he moved toward the door, and then out it.

* * *

><p><em>Just stand up and scream<em>

_The tainted clock is counting down_

_You gave into me_

_Would you say the nights are far too long now?_

* * *

><p>He couldn't stand the thought of her avoiding him. He had to apologize - if not, he subconsciously feared that she would avoid him for the rest of eternity, and he would be left to live an uneventful, pink-less life.<p>

Luckily, Sakura had - at one point in time (Sasuke wondered vaguely where he had been when the conversation took place, and then frowned, figuring he'd been drifting away in the high that had become so familiar to him) - given Naruto the address to the apartment she lived in with a couple of her friends, and, after a good hour's worth of Sasuke glaring and the blonde laughing his ass off, Naruto had given it to him, too.

So, presently Sasuke stood at the doorstep to Sakura's shared apartment, his heartbeat not quite even, his jaw clenching and unclenching.

Finally, he took in a light breath, and knocked on the door.

From inside, he heard some shuffling, and then a muted laugh followed by light footsteps headed toward the door. As the doorknob began to turn, Sasuke braced himself, his mind racing through the words he should say, the words he _wanted _to say.

And the door opened. But it wasn't Sakura who greeted him.

"Is there something you need?" The voice was completely expressionless, even more impassive than Itachi.

It was the orange-haired man from yesterday. His strange light-violet ringed eyes stared at Sasuke apathetically, his mouth nothing but a flat line. Sasuke noticed that the man's shirt was somewhat askew, his hair tussled as if he had just stepped out of bed.

Sasuke faltered slightly, but then dug his nails into the palm of his hand, and answered calmly, "Is Sakura home? I wanted to speak with her."

The man's lips twitched minutely, and he opened his mouth to respond just as a pair of footsteps sounded from the hallway. Sakura's voice grew closer and closer as she called, "Who is it, Pein?"

The door was pulled open wider, and Sakura's bright green eyes met Sasuke's with mild surprise. "Sasuke?" she asked, frowning slightly. "What are you doing here? Is something wrong?"

Sasuke took in her ruffled appearance with a rising alarm. She didn't have her wig on, so he figured the man she stood next to - Pein - must be well acquainted with her.

He didn't like the thought of that.

"I just came to speak with you," Sasuke responded evenly. He glanced at Pein for a moment, and found that the man's expression hadn't changed - it just seemed as if a deadly light had entered his gaze as he stared at Sasuke. "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for what I said yesterday at the restaurant. It wasn't fair."

Sakura blinked. "That's what you came all the way here for?" At his abashed nod, she smiled, and stepped forward to wrap her arms around him in a light embrace, her body pressing gently against his. Instantly, Sasuke felt his cheeks grow warm, his eyes widen, and he was so shocked that he couldn't bring his arms up to hug her back. "You're so sweet," she said softly into his chest, and then stepped back, releasing him.

He wished she hadn't.

"You didn't have to apologize, Sasuke," she continued, her gaze gentle. "I was acting like a bitch. After all, what you said was true. I just didn't want to think about it."

He lowered his eyes to stare at the ground before him. "I was being rude to you."

"Trust me, I've experienced worse," she said, slightly humorous. "Much worse. I won't break just because someone snapped at me."

He felt a spark of relief flash within him, and moved his gaze to meet hers again. "Naruto told me you live here with some of your friends." Sasuke glanced meaningfully at Pein, who continued to stand in the doorway, eyes never leaving the Uchiha.

Sakura followed his gaze, and then laughed. "I do, actually, but Pein here isn't one of those friends."

Pein turned to stare at Sakura. "Excuse me?" he retorted blandly.

"Oh, shut up," Sakura huffed. To Sasuke, she explained, "He's just one of my costumers."

Pein raised an eyebrow, but Sakura ignored him as she continued, "My other friends, Ino and Hinata, are out at the moment. We all share the apartment with equal pay, but it's in Hinata's name." She smiled grimly. "Don't want your brother to come busting down the door, now do we?"

He just merely shook his head. His obsidian gaze never left her as she sighed - eyes downcast - and turned back to Pein, placing a hand on his arm and staring at the ground sightlessly. After a moment, she twisted her head to glance at Sasuke, and smiled once again.

"Thanks for coming by, Sasuke," she said sincerely. "I appreciate it. Oh, and you're going to the party this Friday, right? The one at the Pandemonium?"

He nodded.

Pein frowned, and then moved to grasp Sakura's hand in his, gently tugging her inside the apartment.

Sakura smiled, but leaned into his chest anyway. "So eager," she laughed. She met Sasuke's slightly pained gaze with her own vivid pale jade orbs. "I guess I'll see you then, okay, Sasuke?"

He opened his mouth to answer, but Pein had already pulled Sakura fully into the apartment, and shut the door.

Sasuke's fingers curled into a fist, his arms hanging limply at his sides.

"I'll see you then," he said softly.

Only to be met with silence.

* * *

><p><strong>ephemeron<strong>

\ih-FEM-uh-ron\ , noun;

plural ephemera \ih-FEM-uh-ruh\

- something short-lived or of no lasting significance.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Oh damn. See, that question I asked last chapter actually led to something! Sorry: Pein/Saku is my guilty pleasure - along with Ita/Saku, Gaa/Saku, Saso/Saku, Kiba/Saku, Neji/Saku…the list is endless (hell, I even like Naru/Saku!).

But don't worry - this will definitely be a Sasu/Saku (my absolute favorite). The whole Pein/Saku part there was just about it for that pairing. And you'll see how the Ita/Saku will fit into this sooner or later.

**Oh, and:** **do you guys want a lemon? Or no? **

For all you people out there who are keeping quiet, please, _please _review!

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. Japan kicked Germany's ass in their last Women's World Cup game (soccer, for those of you who don't know). I'm rooting for them in their game that's going on right now against Sweden. :) Has anyone else been watching the World Cup?


	5. Sincerity

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Fifth: 

:

_**Sin**__cerity_

:

* * *

><p>The Pandemonium was a nightclub: large, with two bars and a dance floor spanning the greater part of the area. It was old, though. The walls were peeling their black paint, and the dance floor's wooden platform was slightly cracked.<p>

Sasuke had been there twice before in the last three months - not that he remembered most of what had happened within.

He arrived some time around eleven. Naruto was with him, and just as Sasuke parked the car, the blonde pulled a Zip-Loc bag out of his pocket and opened it, pinching one of the white pills inside between his thumb and index finger and then popping it in his mouth.

Sasuke stared at him as Naruto swallowed the ecstasy dry.

Naruto, sensing eyes upon him, turned to the Uchiha, his brows furrowed. "Something wrong?"

Sasuke averted his gaze, and then reached for the door handle. "No," he answered flatly. "Let's just get going."

And his fingers tightened around the joint he held.

* * *

><p>Instantly, Naruto began to search for Sakura. Sasuke had known from the very beginning that the blonde was infatuated with her - it shined in his eyes whenever her name came up, it showed in his voice whenever he talked about her.<p>

It didn't help that Sakura flirted back, or that she always smiled when Naruto came running her way, and laughed when he engulfed her in a crushing embrace.

In reality, Sasuke wished he could be more open, more receptive to his emotions, so that he could smile and laugh with her like the blonde did.

But it just wasn't in his nature, no matter how hard he tried.

* * *

><p><em>Your knife, my back<em>

_My gun, your head_

_Your knife, my back_

_My gun, your head_

* * *

><p>They found her sitting at the bar in the furthest corner of the club (the other was located directly opposite from it). Music reverberated from the walls, and the large crowd moved hypnotically to their right. A single strobe light on the ceiling created an eerie mood, set at just the right pace where everything seemed to move in stutter-stop motions.<p>

When they reached her, she was talking to the bartender: a medium-height woman with distinctive white eyes and, from what Sasuke could tell - given the lighting - dark blue-black hair. The woman was wearing a simple pale violet long-sleeved shirt that hung off her shoulders with slits along the sleeves, coupled with a pair of black skinny jeans and silver bangles around her wrists. Sasuke had to admit: she was pretty.

But to him, she couldn't even begin to compare to Sakura.

The pink-haired woman wore a black tight-fitted t-shirt with the letters "BMTH" printed in shredded white lettering across it (Sasuke vaguely remembered the letters as being the shortened version of a band name). Along with that, she had on white shorts, and her feet adorned plain black Vans. Her hair was left down, just long enough to barely brush her shoulders.

So simple, and yet still so, so beautiful in his eyes.

"Sasuke, Naruto," she greeted the two as they came to sit beside her. "This is my friend, Hinata Hyuuga. She works here as a bartender. I share an apartment with her and my other friend, Ino" - she took a quick glance around the room - "who is probably on the dance floor right now."

Hinata immediately blushed, but she smiled hesitantly anyway, her gaze flitting between the two males. Sasuke noticed how her blush grew when Naruto met her eyes with a large smile of his own. "Nice to meet you, Hinata," the blonde began cheerfully. "I'm Naruto Uzumaki."

"Sasuke Uchiha," Sasuke offered impassively.

"I-it's nice to meet the both of you, too," Hinata replied unsteadily, her blush slowly growing larger as she quickly glanced at Naruto and then turned her gaze downward.

"Hey, Sakura! Where the hell did my cigarettes go?" a slurred voice called, and, not a moment later, the owner of the voice followed. A tall woman dressed in a low-cut, short dark violet dress with long blonde hair pulled into a ponytail and intense blue eyes came to stand next to Sakura, fingers pressed to her temple as she winced. "I'm getting a massive headache," she groaned, words meshing together.

Sakura sighed, and then reached into her back pocket and pulled out a slightly dented cigarette, handing it to the blonde female afterward. Instantly, the blonde clumsily pulled out a lighter and, after a couple of tries, succeeded in lighting the cigarette. She inhaled, and then let out a puff of pungent smoke. She paused for a moment, eyes closed, and then flashed her eyes open again. The fatigue that had sharpened them before was replaced with a cloudy, unclear haze of pleasure and relaxation.

She blew a kiss at Sakura, then reached out to pat Hinata inelegantly on the head - not even acknowledging the others - and called, "Thanks, Forehead! Love ya, Hinata!" as she walked away, heading to where a tall man with short light brown hair was waiting, and pressing her lips crushingly to his when she reached him. She pulled away seconds later, smiling, and let him have a drag on her cigarette before they both stumbled away into the darkness, their limbs entangled and their mouths moving together once again.

"Well, that was Ino," Sakura said after the blonde had disappeared. "She's a good person if you get to know her when she's not in places like these."

Sasuke drew his eyes away from where Ino and her partner had disappeared, and then shook his head as he turned back to Sakura. Beside them, Naruto and Hinata were conversing lightly, although Hinata just nodded and blushed to most of the things the blonde said.

"Was that a normal cigarette you gave her?" Sasuke questioned, and watched as Sakura shook her head slowly from side to side.

Naruto and Hinata had ventured to the other bar (Sasuke and Sakura were the only two seated at the smaller bar, so the Hyuuga didn't need to attend to them), where there were twice as many bottles of alcohol lined on the shelves as the smaller bar. When Sasuke glanced over, he saw that Hinata was making Naruto his very own unique blend of alcohol, and the blonde was watching her with awe.

"No normal cigarette could effect someone so quickly," she responded. "The ones Ino smokes are laced with Quaalude. I make her give them to me before we go anywhere - she gets carried away sometimes." Then she sighed, and ran her fingers through her hair. "Ino's boyfriend, Shikamaru, was killed in an accident when we were eighteen. They had just graduated a week before, and we were all walking around the city, window-shopping and such. She wasn't paying attention, and walked into the street to cross to the other side just as a bus came driving by. Shikamaru rushed to her and pushed her out of the way, and the bus hit him instead." Sakura's voice wavered minutely - Sasuke figured she'd been close to Ino's boyfriend, also. "He saved her life at the cost of his own."

* * *

><p>"<em>Shikamaru<em>!"

Sakura had never heard her friend's voice rise to such a high-pitched, ragged scream before.

"Oh, God, no, _please_, no…"

And there before them lay their favorite pineapple-headed lazy ass, his twisted figure nearly indistinguishable from the amount of blood covering him. The bus had finally come to a halt, and people were beginning to pour out, curious to see what had happened.

Ino fell to her knees beside her boyfriend's broken body, one palm pressed to her mouth as the other reached out, shaking, to touch him.

She pulled back at the last moment, and a broken sob escaped her lips.

"_No_..."

Tears spilled down her cheeks as she tilted her head back, shattered eyes focused blindly on the sky, and screamed.

"_SHIKAMARU_!"

* * *

><p>"She's never completely gotten over it," Sakura continued, tone delicate. "She loved him more than anything - still does. You see, when Shikamaru was alive, he liked to smoke. Not a lot, maybe once a day or so, but he still did it. About two months after he died, Ino tried it for herself. I was there when she did. She choked and coughed at first, but eventually got used to it. And then it became a regular thing."<p>

Sasuke just continued to watch her, eyes intent on any expression that flitted across her features, as she spoke.

"I guess…she felt as if Shikamaru was still with her when she smoked - it was the only thing she had left of him, and so she grasped at it. She still hasn't let it go." She looked down at the half-empty glass in her hand, and then placed it on the bar table. "After about a year, she began feeling that it wasn't enough. I walked in on her one day with her wrists slit and bleeding, and - I was scared. If something didn't change, she would kill herself. So I looked around, did my research, and eventually found a drug dealer who lived nearby. I asked for something that could be infused in a cigarette, something that would cause her to feel relaxed, as if reality was something far, far away, and she wouldn't have to worry about or remember anything. He gave me a bundle of cigarettes shot through with Quaalude, and that was that."

Sakura swallowed. "Even though I was training to be in the Police Department, I couldn't just _not _try to help her. And believe me, before the drug dealer, I tried to get her to get _real _help: therapy, rehab, anything. She told me, with a knife in hand, pointed straight at her own heart, that she would kill herself right then and there if I didn't swear to never force that kind of thing on her. I didn't want her to die, so I had to do what she wanted." Her lips compressed into a bleak line. "I was too afraid back then - too scared of what might have happened if I did blindside her and force her to get help - to do anything else. And now I'm no different."

She looked at her abandoned drink on the bar table, and then reached for it and drank the rest of it in one go. Afterward, she grimaced, brows drawing together slightly. "Damn," she croaked, and then gave a small cough, eyes squinting. "Hinata sure knows how to make them. Naruto's going to be passed out in less than an hour if he lets her keep concocting those drinks for him. Then again, with all that ecstasy he bought last week, he might be going for the whole night."

Sasuke frowned, glancing down at the un-smoked joint still clenched in his hand. Sakura followed his gaze, and then chuckled lightly. "I see, I see. I'll leave you to your business, then. Let me know if you need more - I have some in the back."

His eyes flashed up, growing wide, and he so badly wanted to tell her that he would take her presence, her company, her laughs and her smiles over drugs any day -

But she was already gone.

* * *

><p><strong>sincerity<strong>

[sin-ser-i-tee] , noun;

- freedom from deceit, hypocrisy, or duplicity; probity in intention or in communicating; earnestness.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Just so you know: I'm pretty sure any of the questions/concerns you have for this story will be answered in the near future. But, if I miss something, we can talk then. :D

All right, the actual Sasu/Saku-ness will begin soon. And if you're thinking about complaining that Naruto's affection for Sakura just suddenly changed to Hinata - it's not like that. I am planning to hint at Naru/Hina later on, but as for Naruto's infatuation with Sakura...you'll see.

Oh, and if you're wondering why we haven't seen Sakura high or anything at the raves, we'll get to know her drug next chapter (I've been kind of trying to match drugs to their users - the research of all the details about some of these drugs is interesting). Which reminds me - if you want to know what Quaalude is, here's some basic information taken from (take out the spaces) www . blurtit . com :

* * *

><p><strong>Effects<strong>  
>Effects of Quaalude in small doses can include relaxation, euphoria, reduced heart rate, increased sexual arousal and parasthesias. Higher doses can bring on depression, slurred speech, and headaches.<p>

**Common Administration**  
>Quaalude is taken in the form of a tablet or it can be smoked. If smoked, it instantly induces a trance-like euphoria, which quickly wears off.<p>

**Health issues**  
>Health risks include death from overdose, or emphysema and other lung diseases, if smoked.<p>

* * *

><p>PLEASE REVIEW! I love you all!<p>

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. The "BMTH" on Sakura's shirt is an abbreviation of sorts for the band Bring Me the Horizon. :)


	6. Heroine

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Sixth:

:

_**Heroin**__e_

:

* * *

><p>He'd been wondering for some time.<p>

It was something he should have figured out a long time ago, but he hadn't really paid attention. Although he always paid attention to her, so it came as a surprise to him when he thought about it.

And he wondered.

_What does she find her paradise in?_

* * *

><p>He ended up stuffing his un-smoked joint back in his pocket - for some reason, the craving that had so consumed him over the months faded to the back of his mind. He sat by himself at Hinata's bar for a good half-hour, eyes focused sightlessly on the swarming people that passed in front and around him. Several times a woman would pause and eye him appreciatively, but he either ignored them or glared outright.<p>

Eventually, Hinata ventured back to her bar. Naruto had moved to the dance floor with Sakura as his partner. They both stared intensely into each other's eyes, their bodies swaying seductively together, their movements only showing in stutter-stop motions.

Sasuke forced himself to look away - _if only he had the courage to ask her to dance with him _- and instead clenched his jaw, choosing instead to inspect the row of bottles in front of him. Behind the bar table, to the right, Hinata was cleaning glasses with a white towel, her eyes flashing to Sasuke every once in a while.

"Sakura's n-not someone you should be falling in love with," her soft-spoken voice advised.

Sasuke froze, and his eyes slowly moved to fall on the dark violet-haired woman. She didn't look up to meet his heavy gaze, and continued to polish her empty glasses. "Excuse me?" he breathed.

Hinata just shook her head. "She's n-not like the rest of us," she continued delicately, and her hand paused in its cleaning. Her pale violet eyes stared at the cup - slightly melancholy - before they turned to meet Sasuke's hard, uncomprehending gaze. "She d-doesn't have one ounce of care for herself - she only lives f-for other people."

His stare hardened. "What does that have to do with me?"

She focused her eyes on the dance floor, and smiled tenderly. "I'm just warning you," she said softly. "I can t-tell you have feelings for her" - he stiffened, but didn't contradict - "and you don't seem like a bad person. I just d-don't want you to get hurt i-if something happens."

He could sense her unspoken words: _and something _will_ happen._

Then she continued her cleaning, and he was left to his own thoughts.

* * *

><p>It was midnight when he finally decided to find her. He'd had Hinata make him a half-Monsterhalf-vodka drink, so he was feeling slightly energized and slightly buzzed.

He found her standing away from the crowd - near the back door that Sasuke guessed led to a supply room of sorts - with the red-headed male and the blonde man who had been sitting with Pein at the restaurant earlier in the week. Their heads were bent together, enclosed away from the world, speaking in soft words that Sasuke couldn't make out over the roar of music.

Sakura's expression was serious, her eyes slightly narrowed, as she conversed with the two other men, and they were just as solemn.

Suddenly, a voice spoke to Sasuke's left. "You're wondering what they're talking about," it stated flatly.

The Uchiha turned slowly to meet Pein's ringed gaze, his own obsidian eyes churning with hidden emotions. "Pein," Sasuke answered curtly. "I didn't know you were coming."

"Sakura offered for me to tag along," the taller man responded, just as terse.

"Did she now?" Sasuke said softly, his eyes moving once again to rest on Sakura's form. After a moment, he turned back to Pein - expression indifferent - and asked smoothly, "Are you and Sakura dating?"

Sasuke swore he saw the man's eyes widen, but then they were back to their normal, almost unchanging size. A wry, barely-visible smirk made its way upon Pein's mouth, his right snake bite piercing twisting up slightly. "Unfortunately, no. She and I are merely close acquaintances."

Sasuke had to fight back the relief that flooded through him, and instead kept his expression neutral. "What about earlier in the week - when you were at her apartme -"

"I suppose you could call us 'friends with benefits,'" Pein cut in wryly. "Anything between us has been purely physical."

Sasuke's fingers twitched.

"Although," Pein continued, his gaze moving to rest upon Sakura with a hint of admiration, "I would not mind being attached to her in other ways. There are not any other women like her in the world." He turned back to Sasuke, frowning slightly. "However, she only has her toys - men she uses as physical outlets. I just happen to be one she keeps at her side more than the others."

"Why is that?" Sasuke found that his voice had grown hard.

"No need to glare at me, Sasuke," Pein responded, seeming vaguely amused. "I assure you, she views me only as a costumer, and, when she wishes, an outlet. I hold a large amount of information about this world, and for some reason, she wants it. I inform her of anything new that comes my way - any recent activities of other big drug dealers, their locations, and so on - and, in turn, she only makes me pay small amounts for the drugs."

"So that's why you gave her money at the restaurant." Sasuke paused, and then his brows drew together. "What is your drug of choice, if I may ask?"

In response, Pein reached into his front jeans pocket and pulled out a small blue-colored tablet. He held it up for Sasuke to see, and then placed it in his mouth, washing the pill down with the mixed drink in his hand.

Pein then turned around, beginning to walk away, but Sasuke caught his soft-spoken answer before he disappeared into the crowd.

"Morphine, Sasuke. Morphine keeps everything at bay."

* * *

><p>Sakura moved her lips down his neck, her hands running through his unkempt orange hair, as she lay on top of him. Pein tilted his head back, allowing for better access, and groaned faintly when she bit down on his pulse, her snake bites brushing his pale skin.<p>

Then she brought her mouth to his ear, breath slightly ragged, and whispered, "There is nothing more to this than pleasure. I do not expect anything afterward, and neither should you."

She pulled back to meet his darkened gaze with serious, questioning jade orbs.

He stared up at her for a moment, then flipped her onto her back, shifting so he was positioned above her.

"I understand." His voice was emotionless.

"Good," she breathed, and finally closed her eyes, letting the bliss wash over her as he began to move.

* * *

><p>Sasuke decided to wait until Sakura was finished talking to look for her again. He wandered back to Hinata's bar - where the dark-haired woman was currently making drinks for several hammered young men - and sat at the furthest stool, staring blankly at the walls before him.<p>

After what he guessed was ten minutes, he stood up and walked back where he had come from, only to find that Sakura and the other two men had vanished.

Frowning, he moved toward the dancing crowd, the music pulsing under his feet, and tried to see if he could spot her pink head.

When she still remained unseen, he headed to the outer parts of the room, skirting the edges - and passing up a group of people sitting together with a steady haze of smoke surrounding them and joints in their hands; now that he could smell it, he had to physically repress himself from pulling out his own and joining them in their tantalizing high - until he reached the door he'd found Sakura standing next to earlier, when she was conversing with the blonde and the red-headed male.

The door was cracked open slightly, but it had a keyhole, so he suspected that whoever was inside had unknowingly left it open. It was the only other place he could think she would be - since she never left parties until at least three in the morning, and he doubted it was that late yet - so, slowly, he grasped the handle, and pushed the door open.

Inside was a small room, lit only by a single candle. Dozens of boxes stacked upon each other made up most of the interior, along with an old, worn-out couch against the left wall. A rusted miniature coffee table sat beside it, upon which rested a silver spoon, a water bottle, and the candle. The small flame created an eerie glow, illuminating the boxes and couch in a wavering golden light.

Sasuke's frown deepened, and he made to step out of the room.

But then a soft rustling sound reached his ears over the pounding music, and he stilled.

Shutting the door behind him, he maneuvered his way around a pile of boxes to the other side of the couch.

And there she was.

She sat on the ground - earlier hidden from his view by the high armrest of the couch - with her back against the wall, her legs stretched out on the concrete ground. Just as he came to stand beside her, she held her left arm into the air, parallel to the ground - completely disregarding his presence - and brought her right hand up to the shallow dip of skin above her elbow.

With wide eyes, he saw that she held a syringe in her hand. The candlelight illuminated it just enough so he could see that it was filled with a gold-tinged liquid.

Sakura positioned the syringe at the large vein located in that shallow dip of skin, her head bent, pale jade eyes focused intensely upon her actions.

And he could do nothing but watch as the syringe entered her skin, and she emptied the golden substance into her vein.

Still, Sasuke couldn't move.

Sakura pulled the needle out, and then let it roll out her hand and onto the floor as she closed her eyes. Her head tilted back, resting against the wall, and her lips parted slightly as her cheeks flushed pink. In the mere span of twenty seconds, her even, normal breaths changed to dangerously slow rises and falls of her chest.

* * *

><p><em>You need a doctor, baby<em>

_You scared?_

* * *

><p>Finally, after about a minute of silence, she opened her eyes and locked her unclear, pleasure-clouded gaze with Sasuke's.<p>

Her mouth leisurely pulled into a smile. "Did you enjoy the show?" she asked, and her words were honey-coated with the euphoria she had found.

Sasuke swallowed. "So you're a heroin addict." He spoke in a hoarse, ragged tone, his voice cracking slightly at the end.

Because even he knew what heroin looked like - even _he _knew that it was one of the most addictive substances in the world.

She laughed, and then slowly raised her hand and motioned for him to move closer. He ended up leaning right over her body, straddling her legs with his knees as she gently tugged on his shirt, pulling him down further still so that her mouth nearly brushed his the shell of his ear.

"It's not an addiction, Sasuke," she breathed.

He stiffened.

"_It's an obsession_."

* * *

><p><strong>heroine<strong>

[her-oh-in] , noun;

- a woman of distinguished courage or ability, admired for her brave deeds and noble qualities.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **See what I did to the chapter title up there? Yes, yes? ;) I just finally realized three days ago that there was the word "heroin" in heroine (I'm a little slow), so I had to use it. Fits Sakura pretty well in my eyes - out dearest corrupted heroine.

Oh, and don't worry - that little Pein/Saku flash-back limey thing up there _definitely _does not count as the lemon I was asking you guys about. It'll be a Sasu/Saku lemon, promise.

Please, please, please review (anything more than the three I got last chapter will make me happy)!

Also: I probably won't update for another week or so. I'm going on a vacation to go horseback riding and such, and then going down to Pacific Beach. So. I'll try to find time to write in that time, but I won't make any promises.

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. (Damn, I've been doing a lot of P.S.'s.) The song I've been using officially ran out (although the line "You need a doctor, baby. You scared?" repeats over five times - I just didn't add those repeats), so I'll be using another song by Asking Alexandria (can you tell I like them?) called "If You Can't Ride Two Horses At Once...You Should Get Out of the Circus." In my opinion, the lyrics fit Sasuke and Sakura's situation in this story perfectly.


	7. Desideratum

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Seventh:

:

_Desideratum_

:

* * *

><p>She knew her time was close.<p>

She could feel it in the way her eyes ached when she looked into the sharp winter sun. It flowed in her bones when she let a complete stranger push into her again and again. It _throbbed _when she accidentally slipped and an image of Itachi passed through her mind.

She was slowly growing colder - the winter frost had begun to claim her as its own.

Time moved on, and she was stuck in the past.

* * *

><p>Crimson liquid dripped down limp fingers.<p>

Eyes left wide open. Lips parted, unanswered cries for help. Cold skin, and frozen hearts.

"Mom?"

A broken whisper.

"Dad?"

Her world came undone at the seams.

And then her gaze fell upon it.

A single note.

Placed right above her lifeless parents' entwined hands.

With unsteady movements, she bent to pick it up. Her fingers shook as she brought it closer to her face to read.

_Come get me, Sakura. I'm waiting for you._

Her world: ripping, tearing apart, and then fading into darkness.

And all because of her own selfishness.

_All because _she had pissed off the top drug dealer in the country.

* * *

><p>"Sasuke?" Her voice was soft, her black wig damp from the pouring rain outside. "Can I come in?"<p>

His eyes grew wide, and then he stepped aside, allowing Sakura to enter his apartment. "Why are you out walking around? It's nearly forty degrees outside."

She shrugged, oblivious to the drops of water that poured down her face and neck. "I was bored - Ino and Hinata left south for a week to escape the weather, and it's a Tuesday, so I had nothing else to do."

He fixed his gaze upon her as they walked into his living room. "Stay here," he ordered, and then ran into his bedroom and pulled out a change of clothes - one of his plain navy-blue t-shirts with the Uchiha emblem on the back and a pair of black sweatpants. When he came back, he tossed them to her seemingly winter-proof form and pointed to the bathroom. "It's too cold for you to be standing around drenched like that. Those might be a little big, but it's better than wet clothes."

She glanced down at the bundle in her arms, and then smiled tenderly. "That's awfully nice of you," she said quietly. "Thanks."

He felt his cheeks grow slightly warm, but nodded anyway as she walked past him and into the bathroom.

"I'll make some tea," he said, and heard the shuffling from within the bathroom pause for a moment.

"Do you have hot chocolate instead?" she called.

The hard line of his lips softened.

"Yeah," he called back. "Do you want marshmallows with it?"

He heard her laugh. "But of course!"

* * *

><p><em>I can't see through the tears in my eyes<em>

_I can't see through the tears in my eyes_

_I can't breath_

* * *

><p>When she came out, he nearly dropped the two mugs he was holding.<p>

She had taken off her wig, and pulled her damp pink hair into a small bun, leaving her heart-shaped face open fully for him to see. Her piercings shimmered slightly in the dimmed light, and a small smile had found its way upon her lips. The navy-blue shirt was entirely too large on her - reaching nearly halfway down her thighs - and she had rolled the black sweatpants up multiple times at the bottom edges.

How he wished he could see her so utterly relaxed and peaceful everyday.

The mere thought of it was enough to have him nearly smiling.

He caught her curious gaze - he cursed at himself mentally, for she had probably been thinking we was a creep for staring at her so intently - and then found his cheeks growing minutely warm once again. With eyes downcast, he murmured, "Here's your hot chocolate," and held the mug out for her to take.

She smiled, her eyes warm. "Thank you, Sasuke. This is all so sweet of you. I promise I won't encroach on you for much longer."

He felt his chest tighten. "No, please - stay as long as you like," he said, and he swore there was a hint of desperation in his tone. "I don't mind."

She lifted her shoulders up and then back down, taking a sip of her hot chocolate afterward. "Whatever you say," she whispered into her mug, eyes focused on the ground at Sasuke's feet.

Sasuke ran his fingers through his messy black hair. "Why don't you take a seat?" he offered, gesturing at the small leather couch beside them. "I have some movies - you can decide which one to watch."

"I'd like that," she answered softly, voice grateful, and moved to place herself on the couch.

He watched her for a short moment longer before he turned and walked toward his bedroom.

* * *

><p>She ended up choosing <em>The Boondock Saints<em>. He was surprised, but at the same time, it was perfectly natural for her.

"Blood, gore, and some sort of cuss word every five seconds," she'd said, grinning. "I can't think of anything else better to watch."

He had just silently agreed.

So, for the next two hours or so, they sat together on that small leather couch, sipping their hot cocoa, their hands nearly touching, and they watched.

No drugs. No alcohol or raves. No Pein, no uncertainties, no random men coming to steal her away.

Just the two of them.

And Sasuke found himself genuinely happy for the first time in years.

* * *

><p>Near the end of the movie, they began talking. He asked her why she hadn't gone with Ino and Hinata down south, and she responded that she liked the cold more. She asked how his school was - he was currently working toward his master's degree in business - and he said he was passing all his classes with an A or higher, so he was fine. She was proud of him, saying that he would make a fine businessman.<p>

Since he'd met her, he wasn't so sure.

Before, college had been his life. His only focuses were on his classes, his homework, his grades. Besides going to school, he rarely left his apartment - of course, however, the blonde would sometimes drag him out to ramen, and Sasuke could do nothing but follow along.

His life had been so simple back then. And he couldn't help but think that it would've stayed the same if Naruto hadn't arrived on campus that one day with the evidence of a high lingering on his features.

And he couldn't help but think that he was glad he'd met her - even if she destroyed his life while simultaneously rebuilding it.

If anyone was the perfect example of a rose with thorns, it was Sakura.

* * *

><p>They didn't even notice when the screen went dark and the movie ended - they just kept on talking. Sometimes their words were pointless, sometimes meaningful, and sometimes -<p>

Sometimes, he saw her draw back, eyes slightly wary, signaling that the conversation had become too invasive. Then he would stop, frowning - _wishing she would trust him _- and randomly ask another question, and, if she smiled, he knew she was with him again.

And, for the longest time, they just sat together, and they talked, with nothing but the patter of rain outside to disturb them.

* * *

><p><em>I feel I failed<em>

_I was meant to make you smile_

_I was meant to make you shine,_

_to make you shine…_

* * *

><p>It wasn't until two o'clock that Sakura finally glanced outside and stood up, stretching her back as she did so. "It's getting pretty late," she said, yawning. "I think I'd better get going."<p>

Sasuke frowned. "You don't have to leave. This couch pulls into a bed - you could just stay here for the night, and then I can take you back in the morning -"

"I don't think that's a good idea, Sasuke," she cut in gently.

His brows furrowed. "And why is that?"

She closed her eyes, a small smile curving her lips upward. "We're friends, Sasuke - and good friends at that. I don't want that to change."

His eyes widened as he realized the underlying meaning of her words. "Sakura," he began, his voice slightly rough, "you don't think I would actually force something like that on you, do you? I promise nothing will happen."

Her pale jade orbs flashed open. "It's not you I'm worried about, Sasuke," she answered softly. "I'm familiar with using men for sex, and nothing more. I don't usually make male friends like you or Naruto. It's something special to me, and I don't want to lose it over my own selfish needs."

_Trust me, Sakura, I would fulfill those needs in a heartbeat. I am all too willing._

He kept his thoughts to himself. "If that's what you want," he responded evenly. "At least let me drive you home, Sakura."

She smiled a pained smile. "That's okay," she said. "I like the rain. Walking alone in this kind of weather" - her eyes moved to the window as a bolt of lightning crackled through the sky, illuminating the clouds in one bright violet-tinged pillar of electricity - "is the only harmony I can find nowadays."

She walked toward the door, placing her black wig on her head as she did so. After, she adjusted her damp clothes in her arms, and turned to him with her hand resting on the doorknob, eyes downcast. "And about that night two weeks ago, at the Pandemonium -"

His gaze grew wary.

"- I don't remember much after I left you at Hinata's bar," she continued, voice wavering almost unnoticeably, "but I do remember some. And" - she took a deep breath, then lifted her eyes to meet his - "I'm sorry you had to see me in that state. Not a lot of people have seen me use before, and I was planning on keeping it that way. I especially didn't want you - or Naruto - to witness it…"

As her shame-filled gaze moved downward again, Sasuke stepped forward and placed his hands on her shoulders. At the contact, her eyes widened and flashed to focus on his face. His gaze was soft, his lips quirked up at one edge, as he stared at her.

"Why would you be ashamed of something like that?" he questioned. "We've all experienced it, so there's nothing to be embarrassed about."

She held his gaze for a moment longer before she stepped back, away from him, and turned to open the door. When she spoke, her voice was impassive. "Thank you for letting me stay with you, Sasuke. I'll wash your clothes and bring them back tomorrow."

And she slammed the door.

* * *

><p>"Give me my freaking heroin!" she screamed. "I said I'll pay you back later - <em>just give it to me<em>."

His strange crimson eyes flashed with ire. "I do not take orders from children, Sakura - especially fourteen-year-olds. You know the rules: pay upfront or don't get your drugs at all."

She clenched her teeth together, and then spun around, beginning to march away. When she glanced back, however, she found that his back was turned - vulnerable.

So, in a flash, she was directly behind him, and just as he turned to see her, she swung her fist at his head.

He was knocked out cold.

With her heart pounding, she reached down and began to search through his pockets, eventually finding four hundred-dollar bills. Fury and adrenaline coursed through her veins - her very being - as she pulled out a Zip-Loc bag of powdered heroin from his jacket, and stuffed both it and the money in her pocket.

And she walked away with a satisfied, wry grin twisting her lips.

Not knowing what that one simple action would lead to the next day.

* * *

><p><strong>desideratum <strong>

\dih-sid-uh-RAY-tum; -RAH-\ , noun;

plural _desiderata_

- something desired or considered necessary.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm back! :D

So, we'll find out more about Sakura's past (and her reasons for the present) soon. Any guesses on who killed her parents? (It should be pretty obvious, considering what red-eyed people we have left…)

Anyway, I'll try to update soon. Your lovely reviews really pushed me to write (thank you all so much!), and I feel kind of bad for giving you such an event-less chapter. Sadly, the next one will be pretty event-less, also (I'm focusing on bringing Sasuke and Sakura closer together, so it'll take some time). Blech.

Please review! :)

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	8. Extant

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Eighth:

:

_Extant_

:

* * *

><p>When she returned his clothes the next day, she was bright and cheerful - like usual. Her strange act the night before when she left was nowhere to be seen.<p>

"Again, thank you," she said, eyes sincere. "I had a lot of fun - it's not too often that I'm able to sit down and relax like that. It was…nice."

He ran his fingers through his hair, gaze focused on the ground before him. "You don't have to thank me," he responded, his neck growing warm. "I really don't mind - not at all."

She smiled. "You're such a good person, Sasuke. There aren't too many out there like you. To pay you back, why don't I treat you to lunch or something? You can choose where to go."

His eyes widened slightly. "No, really, you don't have to -"

She stepped forward and grasped his hand in hers, tugging him down the steps of his apartment. "It'll be my pleasure!" she laughed, grinning.

And, with a small smirk of his own, he let her lead him away.

* * *

><p>She was thirteen, and it was her first real party. Middle school had been easy on her so far - she had good teachers, got good grades, made new friends.<p>

One friend in particular: Temari no Sabaku.

She liked Temari. The blonde was funny and loud, eccentric and genuine, all at the same time.

Sakura became good friends with her.

And, in turn, she got to know Temari's friends.

The blonde was a year older than her - while Sakura was in seventh grade, Temari was in eighth. But Temari was quite popular with the older kids - especially the high school kids.

Temari informed Sakura that she had been invited to a junior's birthday party, and that she wanted Sakura to come along.

"You need some relaxation time, Sakura," the blonde had sighed. "You stress too much over school. You deserve a break."

So, shyly, Sakura had agreed. She told her parents that she had to stay overnight at a friend's place to work on a project, and that was that.

It was there that she had her first taste of alcohol. Her first taste led to a whole bottle, and then to another.

And another. And another.

Temari had come around a couple of times, and, through blurred vision, Sakura could see the concern in the blonde's dark green depths.

Sakura remembered saying something about only having one more, and then they would go.

She wasn't one to betray her words, even while drunk, so she had that one last bottle, and then stumbled over to the bathroom to relieve herself. When she was finished, she washed her hands, and then knelt down and pressed her cheek against the cool marble counter, groaning slightly.

She blinked sluggishly when the door to the bathroom opened - she thought she'd locked it, but couldn't recall exactly - and in walked a tall young man she didn't recognize. She found that his features were blurred, but she could still see that he came closer to her at an uneven, drunken pace.

"Excuse me," she began, voice slurred, her movements weak as she tried to stand up. "I'm not finished yet -"

And she found herself on her back, her spine pressed harshly into the hard bathroom floor.

She barely heard the door slam shut behind them as the boy leaned over her, running his lips sloppily down her neck while simultaneously beginning to undo the button of her jeans.

Her eyes widened, and she lifted her hands to press against his chest, trying to push him off her. When he didn't budge, she inhaled and let out a hoarse cry -

He slapped his dirty palm over her mouth, and, with his other hand, began to tug down her jeans. To her alarm, her underwear followed.

Sakura's heart hammered against her ribcage, tears pricking at her eyes as the boy proceeded to undo his own pants clumsily. She tried to move, tried to shove him off; she bit down on his palm, kicked at his legs, scratched at his exposed neck - but he was too drunk to feel it.

_Help me. Someone, anyone - please! He's going to -_

She screamed into his hand as he thrust into her.

She knew that the boy probably wasn't aware of what he was doing. The alcohol had seized him. It was controlling him, causing him to do thoughtless things.

But, to her, it wasn't an excuse.

He drew back, and slammed into her again.

She twisted under him, her fists pounding at any inch of his skin she could reach.

And again he thrust.

The tears flowed freely down her cheeks as the boy continued to move above her, grunting roughly, his indistinguishable eyes squeezed closed.

She fought and tried and resisted with all her strength -

But he didn't stop.

And so, eventually, she went limp under him. The tears stopped falling, and the screams died down in her throat. She kept her gaze focused on the ceiling, not even once moving to look at the nameless, faceless boy above her, as he continually pushed into her.

She was thirteen.

It was her first real party.

And, on that one memorable night, Sakura Haruno was raped.

* * *

><p><em>They said this could never happen<em>

_They said we could never be_

_Are you telling me you listened?_

* * *

><p>He refused to allow her to pay. Even though the bill was a low amount, he refused.<p>

Sakura was stubborn, though. She crossed her arms and fixed him with a flat stare from where she sat across from him at their small table.

"I'm paying," she stated, gaze unwavering.

His lips quirked up slightly as he shook his head.

Her eyes narrowed. "I. Am. Paying."

He almost laughed - almost - and shook his head again, arms crossed above the table.

"To hell with you, Sasuke," she ground out. "Fine: how about we split it?"

He raised an eyebrow, onyx eyes flashing with amusement.

"Are you really trying to take away my feminine pride?" she questioned, feigning hurt. "Why won't you just let me pay?"

In response, he placed two twenty-dollar bills on the table.

"God damn it all," she swore under her breath. "Fine, fine. Have it your way." Then she reached into her pocket and pulled out a ten. When Sasuke opened his mouth, about to protest, she glared. "I'm paying the tip, and if you say one word about it, I'll punch you." Her tone was serious.

He shut his mouth.

* * *

><p>They made plans for the next day - and then the day after that.<p>

Those days turned into weeks, and before he knew it, a whole month had passed. Ever since that night at the Pandemonium, he hadn't used. His rolls of marijuana were left forgotten in his drawer.

Of course, the craving lingered within him every day. But he found himself slightly disgusted at the thought - reaching a high was no longer imperative to him.

Because, in reality, she was more potent than any drug.

She was all he needed.

* * *

><p>When the boy had finally finished, he simply stood up, readjusted his jeans, and walked away.<p>

After a good minute, Sakura forced herself to do the same. She shakily rose to her feet, steadying herself against the sink counter. Finally balanced, she reached down and pulled up her pants and underwear, buttoned them, smoothed her hair out, and then headed out the door.

Her world was no longer unclear - that experience had worn her drunken haze away. When she glanced around the living room - the music pulsed, the teenagers danced and drank - she knew she wouldn't be able to tell who that boy was. He was just another ordinary kid with hair and eyes and lips. Her world had only come into focus after he left the bathroom, and so she didn't have a clue as to what he really looked like.

Finally, she spotted Temari. The blonde was walking toward her at a fast pace, her brows drawn sharply together with worry.

"Sakura, are you okay?" Temari's voice was coated with concern.

Sakura averted her gaze, choosing instead to focus on the wooden floor. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. After a moment, she swallowed, and answered quietly, "Yeah, I'm fine. But - I…"

_Tell her. You need to let someone know._

Sakura met Temari's anxious eyes, and smiled. "I'm just tired, that's all."

_Sakura, stop! This isn't something you should hide -_

"Let's go home. Is it okay if I stay at your place tonight?"

Temari's hard expression relaxed, and she grinned back. "Sure thing. We need some sleep - it's been a rough night."

As Temari turned toward the exit, Sakura whispered, "You wouldn't even know."

* * *

><p>During that month, he didn't go to any raves or parties. When he asked, she said she didn't either. Winter, she'd explained, was only so long, so she had to enjoy it while she could.<p>

Plus, she'd added, a lot of the major bars and raves closed down for the winter, so it wouldn't be fun anyway.

He could tell she still used, though. Sometimes, when he would come pick her up for a day to walk around the city, or to go out to dinner, her eyes would be clouded over slightly, as if her high had just worn off.

She was more than enough to fill his needs.

He wished he could do the same for her.

* * *

><p>She was weak. She was pathetic and useless and <em>she didn't deserve to live.<em>

Because if she did, she would've been strong enough to prevent what had happened. And because she was so weak, she didn't want to tell anyone about it - she just _couldn't_. It was too embarrassing.

Suicide wasn't an option. She knew she wouldn't be able to bring herself to do it.

Then eighth grade came around. Temari moved on to high school, and they went their separate ways.

And she found it.

She found her ticket away from reality. She found her escape.

Heroin - _her life, her drug, her euphoria - _became her salvation.

* * *

><p>"You know, I haven't seen Naruto in a while." She looked up from her seat on his couch, a box of pocky sticks in her hand. "We should all go to the movie theater or something - I could invite Ino and Hinata, too." She grinned. "Don't you think it would be fun?"<p>

His hand paused in the midst of writing an essay for school. "If you want," he responded, voice neutral.

_I'd rather it be just the two of us._

"Great!" She stood up and reached for the house phone on his kitchen counter. "I'll call him right now. We should go tomorrow night - how about ten o'clock?"

He fought back his frown, but agreed quietly anyway and focused on his essay as she began a laughter-filled conversation with Naruto over the phone. Sasuke's eyebrow twitched as Sakura giggled into the phone at something the idiot had said.

"All right, I'll see you then!" Sakura finally finished, a large smile on her face.

Sasuke vaguely heard the blonde's loud voice coming from the speaker: '_Wait, I just realized - why are you using the asshole's phone? Are you at his house_?'

"Oh, I'm just giving Sasuke moral support" - she winked in the Uchiha's direction - "while he works on his essay."

Naruto said something, causing Sakura to laugh once again.

"Naruto says you need to get a life," she relayed, her eyes sparkling. "He thinks you care too much about school."

Frowning, Sasuke answered, "Tell him to talk to me in five years when he's begging on my doorstep for money."

Sakura repeated the words to Naruto, and giggled when the blonde's voice rose into a defiant yell over the phone, moving to hold the phone at an arm's distance away from her.

"You two can fight it out later!" she shouted to the phone, and then promptly ended the call.

"Good Lord," she chuckled, replacing the phone on the kitchen counter. "Naruto is quite the character. Has he always been so loud?"

In response, Sasuke grimaced. "Unfortunately."

She smiled, and then returned to her place on the couch, staring out the window where a light drizzle had started to fall. "At least he's a good friend," she said, tone slightly detached. "Although it is nice to know he has someone like you to look after him."

Sasuke paused in his writing, directing his gaze to the back of her pink head before turning to stare down at his paper once again. "Especially nowadays," he responded softly.

"Yes," she agreed. Her voice was flat. "Especially nowadays."

Outside, the light drizzle grew into a storm.

* * *

><p><strong>extant <strong>

\EK-stunt; ek-STANT\ , adjective;

- still existing; not destroyed, lost, or extinct.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **God, am I itching to write the rest of this story. I think you'll all like the ending I have planned out...then again, maybe you won't. We'll find out within the next three chapters or so (this story isn't going to last much longer).

And that means...lemon next chapter! :D It's about time for some action, no?

Please review (and thank you to all who have so far)!

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	9. Empyrean

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Ninth:

:

_Empyrean_

:

* * *

><p>After she called Naruto, Sakura offered to make dinner. Given Sasuke's poorly stocked pantry and refrigerator - at which she scoffed and scowled at him, claiming he must be severely malnourished - she had no other choice but to make tomato soup, which sounded perfectly fine to him.<p>

And it tasted even better. So he offered to hire her to make meals for him everyday.

She cursed at him, then flipped him off, laughing afterwards.

"You know, with the way we've been for the past few weeks," she said, her tone humorous, "you would think we were dating."

He froze at that, watching as she stood up and placed her bowl in the sink, her back to him as she leaned against the counter, her face turned toward the window before her.

"I mean, I've come to your house almost everyday," she continued, "and if not, we've just gone out around the city. We're nearly always together…"

Then she paused, turned to him, and smiled, her head tilted to the side slightly. "Funny, huh?"

He couldn't find it in him to breath for the longest time. Finally, however, he inhaled. "Yeah," he responded weakly. And his gaze lowered from hers. "Funny."

* * *

><p><em>I was meant to make you smile,<em>

_I was meant to make you shine…_

* * *

><p>They washed the dishes together. It didn't take long, and he wished it <em>had <em>taken longer, because it was just as soon as they finished that she yawned and smiled gently at him, saying, "All right, I guess I'll be going home, then. Thanks for having me over."

He watched as she moved to replace her wig, his eyes focused on her back as she headed toward the front door.

_Don't go._

His teeth clenched.

_You don't understand - I need you._

Then his body moved of its own accord.

_So, please…_

"Sakura." His tone was soft as he came to stand behind her. Just as she twisted her head around to look at him, gaze questioning, mouth parted, he leaned down and touched their lips together.

Heaven.

Then he pulled away and rested his forehead against hers. Her pale jade eyes were open wide, flickering with surprise and curiosity.

Her gaze lowered to focus on his lips as he whispered, "Stay with me."

…_never leave my side._

And she responded by kissing him back.

* * *

><p>Eventually, they made their way to his bedroom. It was fairly large: navy blue in color, with a black comforter on his queen-sized bed, a dark chestnut dresser, and a large bookcase - nearly completely filled - set against one wall, opposite the window that poured moonlight into the room, illuminating everything in silver and creating heavy shadows in return.<p>

She sighed into his mouth as he drew her fully into the room, kicking the door closed behind him. His heart pounded relentlessly -_ God, Sakura, you can't even begin to guess what you are to me; you are _everything - in his chest, one hand moving to caress the small of her back while the other pushed into her soft hair.

Her tongue reached out to run along his fervently, and then she had pulled away and her hands were skimming along the bottom edge of his shirt, her eyes dark and focused.

Sasuke held his arms up, allowing her to pull his shirt over his head and then discard it on the wooden floor.

For a moment, he saw her gaze flash over his half-naked form, approval vaguely evident in the slight part of her lips and the newfound heat coating her jade irises.

Slowly, she stepped forward and flattened her palms against the smooth dips and rises of his abdomen. He closed his eyes at the sensation of her fingers moving over him, caressing him where no other woman had.

"So beautiful," she murmured, and he inhaled sharply when one of her hands moved dangerously lower.

"And so innocent…" Her voice trailed off as her palm crept lower, finally cupping the rigid form pressed against his jeans.

In one quick movement, she had unzipped his jeans and pushed them to the ground, along with his boxers. He was left standing against the wall, completely naked. His head was bent down, feathery strands of hair hanging forward to sweep against his cheeks, effectively hiding the blush that stained the skin there.

He watched through hooded onyx eyes as a small, gentle smile carved its way upon her lips, and she slowly allowed her gaze to run over him.

When she didn't move after several seconds, he took action and reached out, wrapping his arms around her waist and drawing her against his chest, breathing in the delicate scent of her hair.

Sakura was still for a moment before she hesitantly reached up and hugged him back, her forehead pressed against the sharp line of his collarbone.

And her lips pulled into a pure, honest, _real _smile - the only genuine smile she had adorned in two years.

"You're mine, Sasuke," she breathed into his warm skin.

_I've been yours since the beginning. I'll only ever be yours._

He knew it was true. There was no else right for him.

So he released her, only to bend down and grasp her under her slender thighs, hauling her up so that her ankles crossed at the small of his back. Their mouths met once again as he carried her to the bed, gently laying her upon it after. He reached for her striped t-shirt, and she let him pull it over her head, leaving her exposed in nothing but her shorts and a simple black bra.

She was perfect. Her body, her curves, her breasts, her eyes and her hair and her laugh and her smile and -

_Everything _about her was so perfect to him.

And, God, he wanted to let her know it.

He began to kiss his way down her neck, over her collarbone, watching as her eyes fluttered closed and felt as her legs fell from his back to rest on the cool surface of his bed. Her skin was sweet, and he drew his tongue over the top of her breast to taste more of her. She let out a small hum of pleasure, spurring him on.

With red-tinted cheeks, he slipped his hands under her and, luckily, managed to unclasp her bra in one smooth twitch of his fingers.

"Keep going," she urged gently. "It's okay."

Sasuke did what she told him, and slid the bra off her shoulders, discarding it to the floor.

He only had a second to admire her gentle, soft curves before he froze.

"Sakura," he choked, voice thick. "What -" He brushed his fingers across the small tattoo just above her right breast. "Why…"

She sat up slightly, and moved to place her hand over his from where it hovered above her breast. She met his alarmed gaze with sad, knowing pale jade orbs.

And she gently traced the small, elegantly-written "Itachi" tattooed in black ink across her pale skin.

"Your brother and I, we - we were drunk one night in the city, Sasuke," she said softly. "I don't remember much, except that the next morning we woke up" - her voice grew less audible, but he was still able to hear - "and we had each other's names tattooed on our chests." She moved her hand to point at a spot above her other breast, directly aligned with her tattoo. "He has a matching one, right here…"

"So, you two - you and Itachi were -"

She sighed. "It was in the past, Sasuke - two years in the past. I've let it go" - her eyes flashed with something he couldn't describe - "so you don't need to worry."

"Still -"

"Yes," she exhaled, voice laden with weariness. "Itachi and I were a couple. And now" - Sakura reached up to stroke his cheek, her gaze soft - "I'm here with you. And nothing else matters."

Sasuke closed his eyes at her touch, leaning into her palm.

He was such an idiot. He should have _known_.

What else could explain Itachi's reaction about Sakura, honestly?

Such a fool.

But Sakura was underneath him, with _him_, and he would never give her up. Not to Itachi or any other man.

He would make sure of it.

* * *

><p><em>So there's no you and me,<em>

_and we can't live this way forever…_

* * *

><p>Hesitantly, he lowered himself down again, his lips brushing her collarbone once, then moving down to her naked breasts. They weren't large, but they weren't too small, either - just the right size so that when he brought his hand up to one, it fit perfectly in the cup of his palm. Her skin was smooth and velvety, conforming to the experimental movements of his hand with ease.<p>

Noticing the light groan that had escaped her, he adjusted himself, then gently surrounded her darkened tip with his mouth, sucking and flicking his tongue against her with a delicacy foreign to him.

"Sasuke…" Her voice came out as a light exhale, and her fingers buried themselves in his hair, urging him to continue.

A rush of anticipation flowed through him, and he moved his hand to the zipper of her shorts, his mouth and other hand still working on her breasts. With no ounce of hesitation, he unzipped them and pulled them down her legs, throwing them off the bed.

Then he pulled his mouth away from her, and sat back on his knees, his eyes roaming over her underwear-clad center before moving to meet her dusky gaze.

With a soft smile, she reached down to her waist and, in a clean, swift flex of her arm, removed her underwear.

His eyes widened, flicking to her exposed womanhood - that damned heat rushing to his cheeks once again - before she moved to sit up with him and grasp his shoulders, tugging him down to rest above her. He clenched his hands into the black sheets, resting his weight on his arms as he hovered above her.

Sakura placed her palms on his cheeks and brought his head down so she could press her lips tenderly to his. At the same time, her legs moved to hook around his back, urging him to lean further down.

His breath hitched against her mouth when he brushed against her entrance, the slight friction causing him to harden impossibly more.

"Sakura," he exhaled unevenly, and tentatively rolled his hips to rub against her once again.

Her lips parted, her eyes clouding over faintly. "You - you _tease_."

In response, she bucked her hips upward, and he slid into her the smallest bit before she lowered herself.

Even that simple touch caused a soft moan to pass through his lips. "Shit," he breathed.

At that, she chuckled minutely, and pulled him down for another kiss. "What the hell are you waiting for, then?"

She leaned back to rest against the pillows, her arms held toward him invitingly, her eyes warm.

So he followed her, and positioned himself at her entrance, hesitating the smallest bit before she said quietly into his ear, "I want you."

He was shaking slightly, still so unsure about it all - he'd never had sex before, even at twenty-three. Would he mess up? Would he hurt her? Oh, God, he wouldn't be able to live with himself if he hurt her -

Then she spoke, and all his inner ramblings came to a halt.

"Make love to me, Sasuke," she whispered.

And so he thrust into her - _waves of pleasure curling in his stomach, threatening to tear him apart from the inside _- and, as he rocked back and forth continuously, he became lost in her. Her smell, her taste, the sight of her writhing under him, her eyes closed in ecstasy, his name sounded upon her lips in endless moans. The feel of her naked skin sliding across his, their hips moving in a steady rhythm together.

His world narrowed down to her, and only her. She was the only sold thing left in the universe. She was beautiful, exotic, serious and kind, strong and intense, all at once.

And he had her all to himself.

* * *

><p>After finding her parents' dead bodies, she called the police. Her voice was calm and serene as she spoke, and Sakura thought she heard a little uncertainty in the woman's voice when she told the pink-haired girl to stay put and stay calm.<p>

Before they arrived, however, Sakura tore up the note _he_ had left her, then went into her room and pulled out the bag of powdered heroin she had stolen the night before. With emotionless eyes, she dumped it and the note's pieces into her toilet, then watched as they swirled away from her.

As she stood there, the wail of several police sirens echoed down the street, and she swallowed heavily before making her way back to the living room, purposefully keeping her eyes focused on the window.

"Mom, Dad…"

Three police cars pulled into the driveway, and several black-clad figures emptied from them.

"…I'm so sorry…"

The tears finally began to flow as the figures approached the front door.

Her voice turned into a broken whisper.

"…because it's all my fault."

A knock sounded at the door. She wearily stepped toward it, and paused with her palm resting on the handle.

"You two _did not_ _deserve to die_."

When she opened the door, a silver-haired man with a black mask covering the bottom half of his face greeted her.

His opaque gaze flashed across the room behind her - hardening at the sight of the crimson-covered bodies splayed on the floor - before finally coming to rest upon Sakura's distraught form.

Her tears flowed even faster, and before she knew it, she had lunged forward and wrapped her arms around the man's torso, her ragged sobs muffled in his uniform shirt.

Kakashi's eyes widened, focusing on the top of the girl's pink head. And, slowly, he drew his arms up to the girl's back, weakly embracing her as the rest of his team entered the room, beginning to inspect the bodies.

"It's okay," he murmured down to her. "We're here for you - we'll figure this out."

She just sobbed even harder.

* * *

><p>"Sakura?" His voice came out as a whisper.<p>

His heart beat against her back from where they lay together, the sheets entangled around them.

The slow rise and fall of her chest told him she was asleep.

Sighing softly, he tightened his hold on her waist, and drew her back further into his chest, the top of his thighs pressing against the back of hers. He rested his chin atop her head, breathing in her intoxicating scent.

When he spoke, his voice was tranquil and unwavering.

"I love you, Sakura."

And he never saw the small bead of wetness that trickled from her closed eyes after.

* * *

><p>They didn't find him - she knew they wouldn't. He was too skilled, too experienced, too damn <em>intelligent <em>to give himself up like that.

But she couldn't just let him get away.

So, a month later, she made a deal with the police department: she would buy her own apartment, and they would be allowed to check in on her once every week until she graduated high school.

Because she absolutely _refused _to be sent to a foster care home, and with her parents' leftover money - they had both been highly-skilled, highly-paid doctors - she had more than enough to pay the rent for her small one-bedroom, one-bathroom apartment.

Still, she got a part-time job working at a golf course, just to make sure.

And she gave up on the heroin. It represented her parents' deaths and the pain and the loneliness. Whenever she thought of it, an image of _him_ would pass through her mind.

It was harder than she would have thought, though - giving it up. For the first week, insomnia hit her like a plague, and her stomach couldn't hold down anything she ate. Over time, she was able to get more than four hours of sleep a night, and she actually began to crave food. However, her muscles grew sore with the smallest form of exercise, and she swore her bones were disintegrating from the inside out.

But she didn't give in, and, over the next two years of her life, she strove to become a different person. After seeing the intense and complicated work of the detectives at her house, she wanted to be just like them. It was her only path to be able to eventually find something about _him_, and take him down. So she excelled in all her classes, took as many honors and A.P. courses as possible, studied until her eyes watered…

And, little by little, she changed.

* * *

><p><strong>empyrean <strong>

\em-py-REE-uhn; -PEER-ee-\ , noun;

- the highest heaven, in ancient belief usually thought to be a realm of pure fire or light.

- heaven; paradise.

- the heavens; the sky.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **So...how'd I do? DX My first lemon, guys - I need response! I know it was short, but still! SPEAK TO ME.

Please review!

Well then. I shall see you all soon. :D

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	10. Recherché

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Tenth:

:

_Recherché _

:

* * *

><p>Morning came quicker than Sasuke wanted it to. He woke up to the faint smell of pancakes - but that was the last thought on his mind.<p>

His heart began to beat uncontrollably against his ribcage as his arms were met with emptiness, and he flashed upright, eyes flying open.

"Sakura?"

_Where is she? God, don't tell me she left -_

His voice rose to a panicked shout. "Sakura!"

Suddenly, she appeared in the doorway, her pink hair swaying, her eyes questioning. In her arms she held a large tray filled with two cups of orange juice, a plate of bacon, and a large stack of pancakes. "Something wrong, Sasuke?" she asked, frowning as she walked toward him and placed the tray on the bedside table.

His eyes closed for a second in relief, then flashed open again. Slowly, he rose from the bed and stepped to the ground, pulling her toward him in a crushing embrace.

Sasuke let out a short exhale of breath - his version of a laugh. "Everything's fine," he breathed into her hair. "Sorry about that."

She giggled into chest, then gently pushed him away. "Here," she said, smiling, and held a piece of bacon out to him. "I walked to the grocery store earlier this morning and got breakfast supplies. Your classes start at nine, don't they? You'll need the energy. Eat up! "

He smirked softly at her, and did as she said.

* * *

><p>"Sakura Haruno, correct?"<p>

The well-endowed blonde woman - Tsunade - focused her calculating amber gaze on Sakura's motionless form.

The pink-haired girl nodded.

Tsunade shuffled a few papers on her desk, then stood from her seat. "I assumed it had to be you," she remarked, her lips twisted upward. "I've never seen anyone else with pink hair."

Sakura smiled grimly. "So I've been told."

The older woman grinned, and held out her hand. "I'm the chief of police around here. You can just call me Tsunade."

Sakura shook the hand that was offered to her. "Nice to meet you. Just to make sure, you've been informed that I wish to keep all my files classified, right?"

Tsunade tapped a bulky file on her desk with her long fingernails. "Yes." Her voice grew quiet. "It seems you've had quite the life so far, Sakura. I'll respect your wish - only your basic information will be visible to the rest of the department. The rest about your parents will be between us."

Sakura swallowed, then lowered her gaze to the file in her hands. She took a deep breath before handing it to the chief. "This…is a file I've written about myself. I - I thought you would like to know."

Tsunade opened the file warily, skimming over its contents with growing alarm. Her eyes flashed upward. "You were a heroin user," she stated, voice impassive.

Sakura forced herself to keep her composure. "I stopped using at age fourteen. And I know you have the records of my drug tests - I'm completely clean now."

"Normal people wouldn't be showing this to the head of the department, Sakura."

The pink-haired woman bowed her head. "You had a right to know. I did not want to hide anything from you."

Tsunade huffed out a breath. "Well, then," she said, considering.

Sakura crossed her fingers.

"I guess you can trust me to keep your secret."

Sakura's pale jade orbs widened, and she lifted her head to stare at the other woman in shock. "You - you really mean it?"

Tsunade smirked slightly. "Yes, I mean it. Not only would letting you go be a great loss to the department - seeing how impressive your records are from your days at the Academy - but…" She turned to gaze out the window. "…you seem like a good person, Sakura. I'm putting my trust in you, and I hope you never have it taken away."

Sakura smiled so widely she thought her face would rip in half. "You'll always be able to trust me, I promise it."

"Good," the blonde affirmed. Then she gestured to the hall opposite them. "Now, I think it's about time you met your partner-to-be for the next fraction of your life."

They headed down the hall in an easy silence, finally emerging into a large indoor shooting range. At least twenty targets were hanging from the ceiling, each accompanied by its own shooting booth. The crack of the guns pounding into Sakura's ears, but she was used to it - after all, guns had become a daily part of her training away from her studies as a detective.

Tsunade led her to a stall at the far end of the room, in which stood a tall man with grey-tinted black hair pulled into a loose, low ponytail. His uniform-clothed back was turned to her as he clicked the safety off his Glock 22 pistol, arms straight out in front of him, and aimed.

Sakura smiled a small, appreciative smile as he shot ten rounds and hit the small red circle in the middle of the target every time.

After, he glanced back, then set the weapon down and removed the earmuff-styled hearing protection from his head, placing it with the gun. He turned to the two woman, his obsidian gaze roaming over Sakura's petite form expressionlessly.

The man was incredibly handsome, she noticed. Long eyelashes brushed the tops of his cheeks whenever he blinked, and two long tear-troughs were carved into the skin beneath his eyes. His thick black hair fell forward to frame his face, accentuating his soft features neatly.

His gaze met Sakura's, onyx eyes flashing with curiosity.

"Sakura," Tsunade began, her hand motioning toward the man before them. "This is Itachi Uchiha, your new detective partner."

And Sakura smiled.

* * *

><p>The time came for her leave, even though he tried to persuade her otherwise.<p>

"I have to go home!" she laughed, pushing him away. "It's my turn to do the laundry, and Ino'll be pissed if I don't have her clothes washed before the movies tonight."

Sasuke frowned at her as she reached for her wig and placed it atop her head. She adjusted her bag hanging from her shoulder, then opened the front door and stepped outside.

Giving up, he followed her. She paused at the foot of the steps.

For a moment, Sasuke saw a flash of bright blonde near the bushes to his left, but when he looked, it was gone. He was probably imagining things.

Ignoring it, he closed the distance between them and lowered to touch his lips to hers, pulling her closer and kissing her ardently. She met his movements, her lips working precisely against his.

After a good fifteen seconds, he pulled away, and instead reached to grasp her hand. "I'll see you tonight, then?"

She smiled. "I'll see you tonight." Then she drew their interlocked fingers to her mouth and pressed a soft kiss to the back of his hand before turning and walking down the steps.

He watched her until her form became invisible to him.

And, just as he turned to head back inside, that same flash of bright blonde entered his vision, and he was shoved roughly inside his apartment, a tanned hand clutching at Sasuke's neck as he was pressed to a wall.

"You _asshole_," the person seethed.

Sasuke was met with blue eyes clouded over with rage.

"Naruto," he greeted quietly.

The blonde's eyes began to water over, tears pricking at the corner of his eyes. "God damn it, Sasuke, you _knew_!" he shouted. His voice grew ragged as the tears began to spill over, running down his whisker-marked cheeks. "You _knew _I liked her! And what do you do?" His hand tightened around Sasuke's neck, trembling slightly. "You go _have sex _with her, when you could've had any other freaking woman in world! You just _had_ _to choose her_!"

Sasuke kept his mouth shut.

"Because that's what you did, right?" Naruto's voice lowered to a whisper. "Why else would she be leaving your house so early in the morning? It's because you had sex with her, isn't it?"

Sasuke closed his eyes in response.

And, at that one action, Naruto knew it was true.

"You love her too, don't you, Sasuke?"

The Uchiha fixed Naruto with a straight, unwavering stare. It gave Naruto all the answers he needed.

Slowly, the blonde released his grip on Sasuke's neck, backing away with unsteady movements. His blue eyes seemed to have had the life drained out of them - now, instead of blaring with energy, they were dull.

"Well," Naruto choked, "congratulations. With the way she smiled at you, it looks like she feels the same way."

Sasuke could only stand there as his best friend sprinted out of the apartment and vanished down the streets.

And his lips twitched into a grim line.

Because, even though he wanted it with every fiber of his being, there was no way Naruto's last statement could be true.

* * *

><p>Itachi became the one person she felt truly comfortable with. As the weeks turned into months, she grew to enjoy his unspoken words and his rare half-smile. They trained together, solved endless cases together, kept by each other's side when life as detectives grew to be a little too rough.<p>

He was her light in the darkness, and, gradually, he also became her life.

Gradually, she fell in love with him.

And she was glad to hear the words reciprocated when they shared their first kiss - six months after they had met - in the corner of the otherwise empty indoor shooting range.

In those two years with him, she felt that her life was complete.

…and then everything changed.

* * *

><p>Sakura smiled to herself as she folded the last of the laundry, leaning against the small couch in the living room of her shared apartment. Ino was in the shower, and Hinata was in the backyard reading the new book she'd gotten.<p>

Sakura had begun to close her eyes when the phone suddenly rang. She jumped up with a loud "I've got it!" and hurriedly grasped it in her hand, pressing the 'receive' button before holding the speaker to her ear.

"This is Sakura," she answered smoothly.

The voice that responded caused her to freeze. "We know where he is."

Her eyes narrowed. "Sasori? Are you sure? I told you to never call me unless you were _completely _-"

"It is no mistake," the redhead's even voice cut in swiftly. "Deidara is with him right now, keeping an eye on him. They are currently located at the Transcend Club, just five miles north of the Pande -"

"I know where it is, Sasori," she interrupted. Her mind was whirling chaotically. "Tell me, is he there to stay? Will he leave if he senses anything is off?"

"Deidara told me less than three minutes ago that he was injecting was seemed to be crystal meth into his arm. Deidara does not think he will be going anywhere soon."

She tried to fight the hope swelling within her.

On the other end of the call, Sasori gave a short, sharp chuckle. "It seems we have hit the jackpot, Sakura."

"What do you mean?" she questioned warily.

"It seems as if Ren Hyomi, Chezura Nanoko, Ichima Juran, and the one called Orochimaru are also present at the club."

"Five of the top murderers and drug dealers in the world, all in one place," she breathed, eyes wide. "Yes, Sasori, I do believe we have hit the jackpot. Tell Deidara to keep position" - she smiled bleakly - "and to run when the uniforms show up."

"Sakura, what are you -"

But she had already hung up.

* * *

><p><strong>recherché<strong>

\ruh-sher-SHAY\ , adjective;

- uncommon; exotic; rare.

- exquisite; choice.

- excessively refined; affected.

- pretentious; overblown.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **We're just going to pretend Naruto went to Sasuke's place because he ran out of ramen, and needed some food. Yeah...

Getting confused? Good. ;)

Ren Hyomi, Ichima Juran, and Chezura Nanoko are just characters I made up (imagine that they're terrible, conniving murderers and need to be sent to prison for the rest of their lives). You all know Orochimaru.

Well, please review! Please?

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. HOLY SHIT. If you want to hear an eerie song that'll send shivers down your back, check out "Salvation" by Scanners. My big sister introduced me to it, and now I believe I have broken the repeat button - it's just that awesome. No joke. Go listen. :O


	11. Bellicose

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Eleventh:

:

_Bellicose_

:

* * *

><p>She wasn't ready just yet - she wasn't ready to give up the life she had. Finding him had been her mission for so long, and now it was over.<p>

She just wasn't ready, and so she went to the sink and began to wash the dishes, even though it was supposed to be Hinata's turn. She cleaned for another five minutes before the Hyuuga emerged from the backyard, her pale violet eyes immediately focusing upon Sakura's form.

"S-Sakura, it's my t-turn to do the dishes," Hinata protested quietly, and moved to take the pink-haired woman's place at the kitchen sink. "You c-can go relax."

Sakura smiled softly at the Hyuuga. "Thanks, Hinata." She turned, about to head back to the couch -

And then the phone rang again.

Frowning sharply, Sakura lunged forward and answered it with a rushed, "Hello?"

"Um, excuse me" - Sakura didn't recognize the voice - "but is this Sakura Haruno?"

Nobody was supposed to know her last name outside of the drug world - excluding the people from her past. Instantly, her mind went on alert. "May I ask why you need to know?"

The voice - a woman - sighed. "This is the Konoha Hospital, and not minutes ago a man by the name of Naruto Uzumaki" - Sakura froze - "arrived by ambulance. Before he fell unconscious, he handed the team of doctors a piece of paper with the name 'Sakura Haruno' and this house's number on it, with the instructions to tell her to come to the hospital. So, again, is this Sa -"

"What happened?" Sakura snapped. "For God's sake, just tell me what happened."

Hinata was now beside her, worry obvious in her pale violet orbs. Sakura ignored her.

The woman paused before answering slowly, "He overdosed on cocaine, and is now in critical condition. His heart is failing as we speak, and he has a dangerously high temperature to top it all off."

Sakura squeezed her eyes closed. "Yes, actually - this is Sakura Haruno. Thank you for your information."

"Wait, Ms. Haruno -"

She threw the phone across the room, and it shattered into various pieces against the wall.

"Sakura, w-what's wrong?" Hinata's voice came out small and delicate.

"Naruto's in the hospital, Hinata," she whispered. She didn't turn to see the Hyuuga's horrified expression. "He overdosed on cocaine, and now he might die."

_Because of me. Because I got him started._

"Hinata, would you mind going there? It would be nice if he could have someone with him, praying for him."

Hinata had started to cry, and her lips trembled as she nodded her head. "B-but, Sakura, w-won't you come w-with me?"

"No," the pink-haired woman answered curtly. She reached deep into the folds of the couch, pulling out an object - Hinata couldn't distinguish what it was from the wetness covering her eyes - and stuffing it into her jacket pocket after. "I think I'm going to take a walk. Tell Ino that movie night is canceled before you go."

Then she was gone.

* * *

><p>It was raining as she walked through the streets. She hadn't put her wig on, and she relished in the feel of her pink hair clinging to her cheeks. Everyone else had umbrellas, so they gave her odd glances as she passed by, completely drenched and seemingly without a care in the world.<p>

When she finally reached the roadside payphone, she had begun to shiver slightly - and it wasn't from the cold.

With weary movements, she punched in the numbers she had long ago engraved into her mind, and waited.

And she closed her eyes at the sound of that familiar, rough voice. "Hello?"

Sakura steeled herself before she responded, tone smooth, "Tsunade?"

Silence.

"…Sakura…?" The blonde spoke her name raggedly.

"It's been a long time, Chief. Nice to talk to you again."

Tsunade swore. "God, it really is you."

"The one and only."

"I didn't expect to hear from you so soon," Tsunade breathed. "Is it - have you…?"

Sakura smiled. "I found him, Chief," she announced evenly. "And not only him - Ren Hyomi, Chezura Nanoko, Ichima Juran and Orochimaru have also been located."

She heard Tsunade inhale sharply. "You can't be serious."

"But I am," Sakura murmured. "Go to the Transcend Club - you'll find them all there. Oh, and make sure you're quiet." Sakura grinned wryly. "They'll run if you make too much of a fuss."

"It's finally happening," the blonde responded, slightly dazed. "After all these years, the great Madara is going to be taken down."

"Yes," Sakura said softly, and brushed her fingertips against the object in her pocket. "We'll all be able to rest with our eyes closed now."

Tsunade gave a short, harsh laugh. "Yes, yes - but on to other matters: when are you coming back?"

"Don't worry, Chief. You go on ahead and put those guys in prison where they belong." Sakura paused, then lied smoothly, "I'll be at the department building when you come back for the grand finale of my return."

"I'd better see you then, Detective - and I don't care what the hell has happened to you these past two years. You are to return no matter what."

Sakura forced her voice not to tremble as she whispered, "Of course."

And the line went dead.

* * *

><p>Sakura walked across the street to an old coffee shop, and requested a piece of paper and a pencil before she sat down at an empty table, staring down at the crisp white sheet before her. In her hand she held a pen - cheap, but it would do.<p>

After several minutes of silence, she began to write.

* * *

><p>It was nearly eight o'clock when Sasuke got a call. He allowed a small smirk to curve his lips at the sound of Sakura's soft voice.<p>

"Sasuke?"

"That would be me," he answered, tone light.

When she kept silent, he frowned.

"Sakura? Is something wrong?"

He heard her draw in a ragged breath. "Would it trouble you if you were to meet me somewhere right now?"

"No, not at all." His frown increased. "Sakura, what's wrong?"

"Well," she exhaled sharply, "Naruto's in the hospital right now."

Sasuke stiffened. "What -"

"He overdosed on cocaine, Sasuke." He could hear the tears in her voice. "And he - he might not make it." The panic was evident in every word she spoke. "And it's all my fault, Sasuke. It's _all my fault. _He's going to freaking _die _all because I wanted to give him some sort of escape from reality. Damn it." She was crying now - he'd never heard her cry, and it scared him. "Naruto's going to die, Sasuke! And it'll be all my fault -"

"Sakura," he cut in swiftly, voice impassive, "it's not your fault. None of it is your fault."

"Like_ hell it's not _-"

"_Sakura_!"

She silenced.

He inhaled deeply. "This morning, Sakura, Naruto saw us together. He was livid - he wasn't thinking straight at all. I thought he was going to punch me. He must've gone home afterward and -"

"Because he has a crush on me," she stated blandly. "He saw us, and because he thought he liked me, he went home and tried to run away from it. Using cocaine."

Sasuke closed his eyes. "You're probably right," he answered quietly.

"Shit, I _knew _I shouldn't have stayed with you last night!" Her voice had suddenly risen to a shout. "I _knew _nothing good would come out of it! God, I'm such an _idiot_ -"

"_Take that back!_" He'd never felt so desperate - so completely _furious - _before. "God damn it, Sakura, _take that back._" And he hated the way his voice cracked at the end. "Last night was the first time I've felt so happy in _years_." He tried to keep his words from wavering, and failed slightly. "I'm not going to let you throw it aside, Sakura; not when it -" Sasuke took a deep breath before continuing "- not when _you _mean so much to me."

Her end of the call steadily grew quiet until it was just the rapid hammering of his heart that filled his ears. He clenched his teeth, then opened his mouth to speak the words he had murmured to her sleeping form last night.

"Sakura, I -"

"I'm sorry, Sasuke," she cut in gently. "I'm so sorry it has to be like this. Just - meet me at the Hokage cliff, okay? I'll be waiting for you."

He couldn't even get his next words out before the line went flat.

Slowly, he placed the phone back in its holder, then reached for his car keys.

And, as he began to drive, he whispered softly to himself, "Stay with me, Sakura."

* * *

><p>She was standing in front of the Police Department building when it began to rain again. For the last hour or so, it had stopped, giving the sun a chance to try to break through the clouds. Then the clouds had thickened, and the rain had returned to pour upon her once again. Lightning flashed through the sky, and thunder boomed off in the distance.<p>

Sakura kept her eyes focused on one thing: a window that she currently stood before. The blinds were pulled up all the way, allowing for a perfect view inside the room.

And inside that room was Itachi Uchiha. He sat at his desk, his profile bent over a paper as he wrote rapidly on it. His lips were a flat line, his eyebrows smoothed, his eyes half-lidded.

Sakura ignored the stab of pain that impaled her, and instead shifted her eyes to the camera that was bolted into the wall just above Itachi's window. It faced a few degrees away from her, but she knew it had a perfect view of her regardless.

_Oh, Chouji, _she chuckled to herself. _If only you would focus on the camera displays instead of your chips, I would have been spotted already._

But he would see her eventually - there was no time to waste.

So she pulled out the pistol from her jacket pocket, clicked off the safety, and aimed it directly at Itachi's window. She positioned it so the bullet would bypass him and hit the wall on the opposite side of his office.

And it so happened that just as she pulled the trigger, he turned to glance at her.

The bullet shot true - it shattered the window and continued to impale itself in the office wall.

She met his gaze for a split second as the glass fell away in thousands of glimmering fragments. His face was partially obscured by the endless sparkling pieces suspended in time in front of him, but she met his gaze nonetheless.

And his eyes were wider than she had ever seen them before.

Then the glass tinkled to the ground - a beautiful sound, reminiscent to wind chimes - and they were both frozen, staring at each other.

His obsidian irises flashed with disbelief, confusion, and, most of all: hope.

She watched as his lips mouthed her name just before she broke out of her paralysis, and turned to sprint away at a pace faster than she had ever kept before.

Not five seconds later, the sound of an alarm reached her ears, followed by the wail of several police sirens. When she glanced back, five police cars were behind her - the one in front occupied by Itachi.

Sakura grinned dryly, and thanked the Lord that the Hokage cliff was only two blocks away. Then she veered sharply to the left, and sprinted through the narrow alley between two buildings. The police sirens shot past behind her, no doubt looking for a street that would follow her shortcut.

It didn't matter.

By the time they reached her, she would be far out of their reach.

* * *

><p><strong>bellicose <strong>

\BEL-ih-kohs\ , adjective;

- inclined to or favoring war or strife; warlike; pugnacious.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I'm going to have fun writing the next chapter, even though I'll probably be making myself cry. Oh well. :/

Currently, I am babysitting two disobedient little kids, my little eleven-year-old sister, and my aunt's chihuahua that - just today! - was diagnosed with epilepsy - yeah, he walks around like he's drunk because of all the medication he's on. Not to mention I walked outside to find a little chick sitting on the ground, unable to fly. He hopped away before I could assist him. D: God help us all.

You know you want to review. ;)

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	12. Scream with the Voice of an Angel

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Twelfth: 

:

_Scream with the Voice of an Angel_

:

* * *

><p>Flashing red and blue against dusty ground. Black and white stilled, the crack of a whip as lightning flashed. Endless tears shed from the sky, and cool air slicing past.<p>

All of this was presented to him when Sasuke arrived at the Hokage cliff. He pulled up behind one of the five cop cars, then hastily stepped out of his own car and slammed the door.

His eyes immediately focused upon Sakura, and his chest tightened considerably.

"Sakura, get away from there!" he shouted, slightly panicked. "You'll fall, Sakura! _Move_!"

She stood at the very edge of the cliff, close enough that if she were to take one step backward, she would fall. Her gaze moved to settle on him as he watched her; he didn't like the lack of emotion in her pale jade depths. Her soaked hair blew about wildly in the wind, and her arms hung limp at her sides.

"Sasuke, get down!"

Itachi's sharp voice drew his attention away from her.

He focused his eyes to meet his brother's, frowning slightly. The cop cars, he realized, were parked in a line about thirty feet from the edge of the cliff, and eight other policemen (and women) crouched behind the open doors for cover, their guns pointed at the pink-haired woman. It seemed as if they had arrived not ten seconds before.

"What are you doing here, Sasuke?" Itachi's voice sounded minutely strained.

"I - I'm - Itachi, what is _going on _-"

"Sasuke, I knew you would come!"

Sasuke snapped his head around to stare at Sakura, and she smiled gently in return.

He took a step toward her.

"Karin, Suigetsu," an older silver-haired man began, tone hard, "apprehend the boy."

Suddenly, Sasuke found himself held back by his arms. He jerked reflexively and ground out a harsh, "Let go of me -"

"We have handcuffs, you know," the redheaded female - Karin - cut in smoothly. "Behave or we'll have to use them."

Sasuke frowned callously at her, but she just raised an eyebrow in response.

"You heard the lady," her partner - Suigetsu - said, flashing his pointed teeth. "Behave."

Thunder rumbled above, and the rainfall increased slightly. Sasuke blinked the water out of his eyes as he once again focused on the scene before him.

"I'll say this one more time, Sakura," the older silver-haired man began curtly. "Drop the gun now or we'll be forced to open fire on you."

Sakura glanced down at the gun in her hand, then looked back up. "Go ahead, then," she responded, shrugging her shoulders. "Go ahead and shoot me, Kakashi. I don't mind." She smiled a lifeless smile. "Your choice."

Kakashi's eyes narrowed, and his teeth ground together beneath his mask.

Before he could speak another word, however, Itachi cut in.

"Sakura…"

The pink-haired woman shifted her impassive gaze to the elder Uchiha brother.

Itachi's eyes were clouded over with muted tenderness. "Sakura, what happened to you?" he questioned, voice soft.

She let out a light breath, then fixed him with a blank stare. "I found my place in the world." She smiled, slightly unstable. "Have you missed me, Itachi? It's been a long time since we've last seen each other."

The lightning flared once again, making her piercings glimmer eerily.

Itachi's expression hardened. "Get away from there, Sakura," he lashed out. "Come with us willingly, and we'll figure something out. I'll make sure your punishment is lessened somehow -"

"You don't get it, Itachi!" she shouted. Her eyes suddenly blazed with rage. "I've been a drug dealer for the past two years! I'm a heroin addict - a _criminal_, Itachi!" Her gaze narrowed. "There is no way my punishment could be lessened. Not unless you wanted to get thrown in prison yourself."

Itachi was silent for a few moments. Then he responded quietly, "You've changed, Sakura."

She laughed a harsh, biting laugh. "Look who came to his senses."

But Sasuke could see something else - something indescribable - in her gaze, even if Itachi couldn't.

"Sakura, please," a brown-eyed woman with brunette hair pulled into two buns implored. She slowly stood from her crouched position - lowering her raised gun - and ignored the snapped, "Tenten!" that came from her male white-eyed, brunette partner, continuing instead with a gentle, "Just listen to him. We all miss you, Sakura. It doesn't matter what's happened since you" - she took a shaky breath - "since you left. Tsunade would _never _let anything bad happen to you."

"It's true, Sakura," a male with black bowl-cut hair agreed, standing up also. "We all thought you were dead. This is almost a miracle! Please come back!"

"I can't, Lee," Sakura responded softly. "I just can't."

"And why is that?" This time it was a brunette male with red face paint on his cheeks. A large white dog barked beside him. "We're offering for you to come home with minimal repercussions!" he yelled, eyes narrowed and brows drawn together. He rose to his feet along with the others. "Just come back, and everything will turn out to be okay!"

"No, it won't!" she shouted back. "Nothing will ever be as it was, Kiba. Too many things have changed for anything to be okay again."

"Being a little melodramatic there, aren't we, Sakura?" the woman beside Sasuke suddenly countered. When he glanced over at the redhead, her mouth was a flat line, but her crimson eyes churned with sadness.

Sakura grinned wryly at her. "Well, if there's one person whose sarcasm I can say I've missed, it's yours, Karin."

The redhead smirked back. "Glad you still have the eye to appreciate true skill, Haruno."

Sakura chuckled in return, her eyes flaring with hardened humor. "It's never left."

"Enough with the chitchat, Karin," Kakashi interrupted. "Sakura, I will say this one last time: drop the weapon and come willingly, or we will be forced to open fire."

"If you think those are the only two options at hand, you've been sorely mistaken, Kakashi," the pink-haired woman responded dryly. With an air of causality, she spun the pistol around her index finger, her stance relaxed. "I would like to elaborate: either I jump off the cliff right now and be done with all this, or…"

Her deadened gaze moved to Itachi.

"…or you kill me yourself, Itachi."

Sasuke's heart began to pound in his chest, his eyes growing slightly wide. Ineffectively, he struggled against the arms that held him back. "Itachi," he snapped sharply, "if you do _anything to harm her _I swear I'll -"

"I refuse," the elder Uchiha stated flatly. His onyx irises were unwavering in his decision.

Sakura's lips pressed into a straight line. With emotionless pale jade eyes, she glanced behind her. Some hundred feet below, a large river flowed rapidly, many jagged rocks piercing toward the surface. Her lips curved upward. "Hm," she let out. "That's a far drop. I don't think I'd survive. Although" - she turned fully around, facing the plunge, and leaned forward dangerously - "I could be wrong," she continued softly. "Shall we find out?"

The wind sliced past in another chilling bout as the thunder boomed once again.

Sasuke couldn't take it anymore. His voice rose to a shout as he spoke. "Sakura, what the hell are you _doing_?"

"Get away from there!" the brunette man with the dog chorused, along with several other cries from the rest of the group.

She turned back to face them with a small shrug of her shoulders. "I guess I'm too much of a wimp," she sighed. Then her eyes flashed perilously. "That leaves it to you, Itachi." She spread her arms out wide. "Go for it."

She was teasing him.

Itachi's eyes narrowed. He remained unmoving.

"No?" she questioned, feigning hurt. "Well, then."

Before any of them could react, she had aimed her pistol at the younger Uchiha, and shot.

Sasuke swore he felt the air from the bullet's passing against his scalp. She had missed the top of his head by less than two inches.

He froze.

"If you don't shoot, Itachi," she continued nonchalantly (Sasuke noticed how she didn't meet his gaze), "I'll make sure to aim closer next time."

Slowly, Itachi raised his own gun to point at her drenched form, but his eyes were filled with anguish. "I don't understand why you're doing this, Sakura," he said quietly. His voice was slightly uneven.

"You'll find out soon enough, love," she responded softly.

Sasuke stiffened at her words - hating himself for the painful twinge that flashed within him at hearing her call his brother what she had - and clenched his hands into tight fists.

With steady fingers, Sakura reached into her jacket pocket and pulled out a small Zip-Loc bag. Inside it were two folded pieces of paper and a large rock.

She bent forward quickly and placed it on the ground before her. The wind whipped the bag about furiously, but the rock kept it from flying off.

"This is to go to the Chief," she said firmly. "If you can do anything for me, it's this. Make sure it gets to her first."

Her gaze hardened as she stared at Itachi. "You will make sure, right?"

He could do nothing but nod, and she let out a light breath in response.

"Good. Now, where were we?" She frowned at Itachi. "Will you comply or not?"

His pistol was still aimed at her, but his fingers were not fully positioned to pull the trigger. When he spoke, his voice was low and sharp. "Stop, Sakura. Please."

Her eyes flashed with unhidden fury. "So stubborn," she hissed, then raised her gun to point directly at Sasuke.

Sasuke watched as Itachi's fingers finally moved to the trigger.

Ignoring the threat posed at him, he ground out a harsh, "_I will never forgive you_, Itachi -"

Sakura's index finger moved slightly, and Itachi straightened his arms in response.

"_Itachi _-"

"Come on, love," Sakura crooned. Her gaze shifted to focus on the elder Uchiha.

Itachi's eyes betrayed all that he was experiencing: pain, remorse, grief, sorrow - everything normally pushed aside was now left in the open.

"Shoot, Itachi," Kakashi's voice sounded suddenly. "That is a command."

Itachi's teeth clenched together.

"Listen to him," the pink-haired woman advised harshly.

"Itachi, _don't_." Sasuke struggled callously against his captivators, all to no avail.

"Listen to me, Uchiha! She is a threat to us -"

"Sakura! Please, _stop_." It was a dream, Sasuke thought. It was all a dream. He would wake up any second, and she would be right next to him -

Kakashi's voice was stern: "God damn it, _shoot_!"

"I'll kill him, Itachi," she said softly. Her pale jade eyes were clear. "I promise I won't miss on purpose this time."

Sasuke's breath hitched. "Sakura -"

"Uchiha, I command you to -"

Lightning cut off Kakashi's words, and for a moment after, silence reigned.

Then Sakura spoke again.

"Shoot, Itachi," she whispered.

And the trigger was pulled back.

* * *

><p>Sasuke didn't remember hearing the shot go off - all he remembered was watching with horror as the bullet struck her square in the heart, and blood flew through the air. The force of the shot propelled her backwards, the gun dropping from her hand.<p>

As she fell from the cliff toward the churning gorge below, her eyes closed, and a small, satisfied smile curled her lips.

Her form dropped from their view. Silence encased them once more.

Then Sasuke drew in a ragged, choked breath.

And he screamed.

"_SAKURA!_"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **You know, I actually don't hate Karin. She can be pretty funny at times, and it makes me angry when people say, "I hate Karin. She's such a whore, and she's fat and ugly, and Sakura deserves Sasuke way more than she does." They usually just hate her because she's a threat to SasuSaku, and I'll admit she can irksome at times, but then again, Sakura's not the most pleasant person either (neither is Ino, or Tsunade, or Anko...). And people: she's not ugly, and she's not fat (a lot of girls have big hips, but that doesn't necessarily make them fat, now does it? I have big hips, so does that mean I'm fat?) So. That's all. Feel free to disagree. Everyone had their own preferences, and I totally respect that. Pointless/ignorant hatred just pisses me off sometimes.

(Having to write five essays in two weeks pisses me off too. Yeah...)

I have no clue when the next chapter will be posted (and for all you Silent Sacrifice fans...you might have to wait a long, long time), but school just sucks majorly. Hearing from you guys always brightens my day, even though I might not get to responding until later on. :) I really appreciate every single review, so please leave a comment. Oh, and if you have the time, check out my latest one-shot "All the Small Things" that I typed up while I was angry at my Luther/Calvin compare and contrast paper and needed a breather. It's a very vague SasuSaku-ish story that'll probably take you a minute to read (and I think it's the most in-character Sasuke piece I've written to date). :) Tell me your thoughts on it if you will.

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo

P.S. To those four or five of you who sent me a warning review about the lyrics, I promise I'll get to taking the rest of them down. :)


	13. Believe

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Thirteenth:

:

_Be__**lie**__ve_

:

* * *

><p>Just like that - with one bullet, with one slight touch to the trigger - she was gone. Forever pulled from the grasp of the living.<p>

And he'd never felt so much pain before.

For the first time in more than a decade, tears began to overflow in his eyes. His throat constricted dryly, hoarse from the rough, sudden overuse it had gone through. His entire body began to tremble - he felt the pain grow in his chest, acting like a concrete block rested there. And his mind -

His mind was suddenly void of reason.

_Itachi._

Sasuke's arm tensed for a split second before he used the newfound adrenaline running through his veins to slam his sharp-toothed captor to the ground. The man was caught off guard - as was his redheaded partner - and so he let out a small grunt of surprise before his back connected harshly with the muddy floor.

"Suigetsu!"

Sasuke shook the redhead off (not that it took much: she was already moving to tend to her fallen comrade) and in less than five seconds was at Itachi's side. His brother had not moved since he'd pulled the trigger - his eyes were wide and blank as he stared at where Sakura had been standing just less than twenty seconds ago, and for a moment Sasuke thought he saw Itachi's outstretched, positioned arms tremble, his pistol jerking back and forth in his hands with the most minute of movements.

Just as Sasuke reached him, Itachi began to turn, and then Sasuke's fist connected with his cheek, and the elder Uchiha's head was snapped forcefully back.

"You _bastard_," Sasuke croaked. "How could you, Itachi?"

At the silence that he received in response, Sasuke cracked.

"_How could you_?" he cried, and it echoed off the canyon walls several times before dying out.

Only the fierce wind and torrents of rain answered.

Sasuke's lips flattened. His midnight-colored bangs stung as they pelted his cheeks, and he had no idea which was rain and which were tears that cascaded down his face.

"I'm sorry." The words were whispered, and Sasuke could barely make them out.

He felt the noose around his heart tighten.

"God, Sasuke," his brother choked out, "you don't know how sorry I am."

It was the most emotion Sasuke had ever seen Itachi show.

And he watched as his brother - Itachi, always so stoic and calm and so _goddamn uncaring _- crumbled to the muddy ground beneath him, his shoulders shaking as he silently grieved.

The rain gradually lightened above them as the last stable pillar in Sasuke's life shattered into a million pieces. The clouds parted, revealing a luminous sun.

It mocked them all as it gleamed.

* * *

><p>"She's dead."<p>

Tsunade repeated the words with a stony exterior, her eyes hardened amber and her mouth pressed into an unforgiving line.

"Yes, Chief," Neji answered from the corner of the medium-sized office. "The victim" - he swallowed, hating the fact that he was required to use such formalities - "threatened Uchiha Sasuke and even fired a shot at him, but thankfully the witness was not harmed. Detective Uchiha was forced to retaliate lest the victim were to continue with her threats and actually harm the witness or any of our officers."

Tsunade had her eyes focused steadily on her messy desk. "I see," she responded curtly. Then she leaned forward and closed her eyes, massaging her temples roughly with her index fingers. "And her body? Were you able to locate it?"

This time it was Tenten who responded. "We were. I had my team report to the scene and search the gorge below. They found the victim's body about seventy-five yards downstream, stopped by a boulder."

"And her wounds?"

"The shot that I fired pierced straight through her heart."

Everyone turned their gaze to the young detective that entered the room. His uniform was splattered with dried dirt and was still partially wet, but other than that he looked as he did every day: serious, unruffled, and detached.

He continued as he came to lean against a far wall, his opaque gaze never moving from the ground as he spoke in an unrevealing tone. "She would have bled to death either way, but died instantly when her spine was severed on a protruding boulder in the river below as shown by a quick examination of her body. The moment I pulled the trigger her death could not be reversed."

"It was almost like she knew what was happening to her," Karin chimed in softly. She swallowed and adjusted her glasses with shaking hands.

"I think you're right." Tsunade's voice cut through the solemn air like a gunshot. "Suigetsu, you said you had a piece of evidence from the scene you wanted to show to me." Her eyes had suddenly reclaimed their normal amber fire.

The light-haired man nodded jerkily and exited the room only to reappear a few seconds later with a plastic bag pinched between his latex-covered fingers. Inside the bag were two neatly folded pieces of paper from which sat hidden words.

Tsunade stifled a gasp and instead stood up brusquely with her hands placed firmly on her desk. "It hasn't been inspected yet, correct?"

Suigetsu nodded. "We were waiting for your orders, Chief."

The fire in Tsunade's eyes only continued to intensify. "Hand it here, and the rest of you leave. I have a feeling I'll be calling you all back soon."

The moment Suigetsu had walked in carrying the letter, Itachi's gaze had been latched onto it. Desperation flickered like a candle in the obsidian depths of his eyes. Firmly he responded, "I'm staying."

The rest of the group had already begun to leave, but now they all stopped in their tracks, shocked.

Itachi met Tsunade's firm stare with his own unwavering orbs.

"Come again, Detective?" Tsunade questioned smoothly.

"I'm staying," he repeated, emphasizing his words with meaning.

"Like hell you are," the chief growled through her teeth. "Now get out of here before I have to throw you out myself."

A small upward tilt to the Uchiha's lips had Tsunade fuming. "Not until I see what's inside that letter, Chief."

Tsunade closed her eyes slowly and took a deep breath. When her eyes reopened, they were weary and glazed over with tears that hadn't shown themselves in over fifteen years. "Please, Itachi," she said quietly. "I'll show it to you later, just - for now, please just leave me be."

He held her gaze for a moment longer, and silently acknowledged the fact that this was something that meant as much to her as it did to him. So he wordlessly exited the room and let the door close softly behind him.

Now left alone with nothing to disturb her, Tsunade took the paper out of its bag and pried it open with unsteady fingers.

The tears in her eyes began to overflow as she read.

* * *

><p>Sasuke stared blankly at the white wall before him. His mind seemed to refuse to function, and only the resounding pulse of his heart kept him aware of reality.<p>

_Ba-bum. Ba-bum. Ba-bum._

His eyes flickered to his left, where a door stood closed and locked. Before him was a worn chestnut desk with a plain lamp on top. To his right a small window filtered steady streams of soft golden light into the room.

_Ba-bum._

He blinked, and it was still there. He was still in the plain interrogation room. Still unmoving and unvisited. Still wondering what the hell exactly was going on beyond those white walls.

And Sakura was still dead.

He swallowed and clenched his fist.

Dead.

_Ba-bum._

Lifeless.

_Ba-bum._

Un-breathing.

_Ba-bum._

He was never going to see her alive again.

Because Sakura was _dead._

And he just didn't know how to cope with it.

So his mind returned to its numb state, and he continued to stare at the plain white walls until he vaguely heard a click and the door was pushed roughly open.

Itachi appeared in the doorway. "Come, Sasuke," he ordered swiftly, his tone even. "I think you should be here for this."

"For what?" Even Sasuke was surprised at the coarseness of his voice. He hadn't spoken since they'd left the scene, which he guessed had to have been a good three hours ago.

Itachi's eyes did not allow for questions. "If you want to gain a few answers about Sakura, I suggest you follow me." And with that he briskly left the room.

Once Sasuke's mind had processed his brother's words, his legs had propelled him halfway across the room and then out the door.

* * *

><p>"I'm sure you're all wondering why I summoned you here," Tsunade began, her voice and stance strong and radiating authority. However, her appearance did anything but. Her eyes were rimmed with pink and partially bloodshot, and she looked as if she had not slept in days. But she was Tsunade, Chief of the Konoha Police Department, and she did not give in to weakness very easily. So she stood strong and proud as always.<p>

Her eyes scoured the room of people, skimming across their sullen faces and tired looks. With a deep breath she continued, "First of all, I would like to inform you that earlier today our highly skilled infiltration team led by Might Gai successfully detained our top five most wanted criminals, whose names I'm sure you all know. Well done, you guys. We've been on this case for the last two years, and it was about damn time they were thrown in prison."

Tsunade allowed herself a small smile at the cheers that erupted from the medium-sized crowd. Might Gai, who had just arrived from the scene, blushed bright red and the rest of his team grinned sheepishly in return.

However, the crowd soon quieted and were once again attentive. All but two were seated: Uchiha Itachi and Uchiha Sasuke. Each brother leaned against a separate wall. Itachi had his gaze focused steadily at a random spot on the opposite wall, while Sasuke had all of his attention directed to the front of the room where Tsunade stood. The chief met his eyes for a brief second before returning to her speech.

"I am sure you all are aware of what also occurred earlier today," she continued with a much gentler tone. The crowd remained silent, mourning. "At exactly 4:27 this evening, Haruno Sakura was shot. Uchiha Itachi had no other choice, for the victim was armed and had already come close to harming one of our witnesses, Uchiha Sasuke. She threatened the team, and was killed for the sake of our own." Tsunade clenched her teeth together. "Now I am aware that we all knew Sakura" - she swallowed - "before she disappeared while working on an undercover assignment two years ago. But I don't think any of us truly _knew _her." Tsunade's lips trembled. "Not even me." She closed her eyes. "Haruno Sakura was a kind person. She was strong, fierce, and incredibly intelligent. And I'm sure that without having had her as a part of our team, many of the cases she and Detective Uchiha worked on in the past would still be unsolved today."

Her eyes flashed open. "But anyone can tell that she wasn't the same person as she had been two years ago. She changed." A deep breath. "And these letters she left explain everything."

The crowd seemed to visibly hold its breath. Neji, Tenten, Lee, Kakashi, Karin, Suigetsu, Chouji, Kiba, Shino, Iruka, Kurenai, Gai, Asuma and more filled the room. All grieving. All needing to know what exactly had happened to their once dear friend.

Itachi and Sasuke, however, needed to hear the truth the most. Sasuke's onyx eyes never strayed from where the chief stood, his lips in a fine, straight line and his eyebrows slightly drawn. Itachi was almost the same, save for the fact that his face bared no emotion whatsoever.

And then Tsunade smoothed out the two papers, cleared her throat, and began to read.

* * *

><p><strong>believe <strong>

\bih-leev\, verb (used without object);

- to have confidence in the truth, the existence, or the reliability of something, although without absolute proof that one is right in doing so

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **You guys do not know how sorry I am for not updating in freaking forever. My most sincere apologies, lovely readers, and I will definitely have the next chapter up soon, where we get to read Sakura's letter. This I promise. I'm planning on ending this story at the fifteenth chapter, and I hope you enjoy the rest of what is to come. Thank you all so much for your support!

With much love,

Silver Echo


	14. Dear Insanity

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Fourteenth:

:

_Dear Insanity_

:

* * *

><p><em>Tsunade, <em>

_It's been a long time since I've last seen you. I bet you're still looking around thirty years old - I mean, you must. Two years it's been, and in reality it's not that long of a time period - it just seems like eternity, somehow. So I'm sure you're still as hot as always, and I'm sure everyone at the station is doing well, too. At least I hope._

_Well, I'm dead as you're reading this. I know I am. Because there is no way I would let myself live another day. Not after everything that's happened._

_And I'm guessing you're wondering what exactly _has _happened these past two years. I can tell you much, but before that I want to start at the beginning. I want to share with you what exactly started the inevitable downward spiral my life has been on since I was thirteen._

_And I want you to share this with the others as well. Everyone at the station. Itachi. Kakashi. Neji. Kiba. And Sasuke. Please, Tsunade, don't keep what I'm about to tell you from Sasuke. I think he deserves to know the most._

_Well, here goes nothing. Nothing held back anymore, nothing hidden. _

_To begin with, I was raped when I was thirteen._

* * *

><p>A choked sob escaped someone's mouth. Itachi had gone completely still. Sasuke found himself chilled to the bone, and those damn tears stung the backs of his eyes once again.<p>

* * *

><p><em>I've never told anyone - not one single person - that fact. Not even you, Tsunade, and I'm not exactly sure why. All I know is that I've kept it hidden all these years, and I had to get it out.<em>

_I don't really want to give any details - because, honestly, I don't remember much myself; that was the day I'd had my first beer, and I wasn't exactly tolerant - so I'll just simply say that I was raped. Nothing more, nothing less. I don't know who the guy was and I never will, but I don't really care. What's done is done and there's no going back._

_After that day everything changed. I grew depressed. I convinced myself that I was worthless and didn't deserve to be alive. But suicide was something I wasn't strong enough to commit. So I had to find something else to relieve me of my own mind._

_And then I found heroin, and after the first injection I was addicted. I had shoveled the first pile of dirt on the way to digging my own grave. I was a drug addict; me, Haruno Sakura, who had never lied or cheated or stolen or done _anything _even remotely bad. I had tainted myself with that one simple injection. Even to this day I'm tainted. I'd fooled myself years ago by thinking that I could go into the police force and redeem my soul. I should have known I couldn't change. Stupid me._

* * *

><p>Sasuke vaguely felt a tear slip out of the corner of his eye.<p>

* * *

><p><em>My life as I remember was a haze during that point in time. I turned out to be a terribly good liar, though, and could easily keep my addiction from my parents, friends, and teachers. They never suspected a thing. I got my drugs from a very cunning man who I'm sure you all are familiar with, for he must be in your custody by the time you read this. He goes by the name of Madara. Yes, little fourteen-year-old me went to one of the most wanted men in the world to find relief. He gave me my heroin, and that was that. <em>

_Until the day I forgot to bring my money in my desperation for the drug, and he refused to give it up. I hadn't used in about two days, and I don't think I'd ever been so pissed off before. If I didn't get my heroin, I thought to myself, I'd surely perish. So, when his back was turned, I punched him clean on the temple and knocked him out cold. I stole the four hundred dollars and the bag of powdered heroin he had in his pocket and left._

_You don't know how much I regret that action. More than anything in the world I wish I could go back in time and stop myself from punching that man, no matter how damn good it felt. Because the next day I got home from school and found both of my parents dead. He had killed them._

_That day I met Kakashi, and I began living on my own soon after. I didn't use after that. I viewed heroin as one of the many reasons why my parents were no longer with me, and I found the very idea of using completely horrific. I'd become fascinated with the works of the detectives surrounding my parents' murder - even though I knew their efforts to track Madara were useless, for he was too skilled for them - and I threw myself at my work and studies at school. I didn't let the aftereffects of not using alter my decision in becoming a detective, and as quickly as I could I entered the police force. At age twenty I began working as a detective at the Konoha Police Department with Tsunade's promise that my records would be kept classified._

_And it was there that I met all of you. Tenten, Karin, Lee, Chouji, Suigetsu, Kiba…_

_And, most importantly, Itachi._

* * *

><p>When Sasuke looked, he saw that his brother's eyes had grown hard and impassive.<p>

The younger Uchiha swallowed, not sure if he was mentally prepared to hear what was sure to come. But he turned back to Tsunade and continued to listen anyway.

* * *

><p><em>God, Itachi, I think I could write an 1,000-page novel about you and it still wouldn't be enough. There's just so much to you that I'm sure you haven't let anyone see, not even me, although I'd like to think I have you just about figured out. I know I don't, though. I'm a firm believer in the fact that no one person can possibly know everything little thing about another. We are human and therefore indecipherable as individuals.<em>

_Well, enough about that. I'm rambling again. _

_Itachi, you were the man that I pictured living the rest of my life with. I saw us getting married, having kids together, dying by each other's side… I loved you more than anything in the world, I'd like you to know, because I don't think I ever expressed it to you enough. Those two years together were one of the two best times of my life. And, God, I loved you so much._

_And that's why I had to leave. _

_You see, the day I was assigned that undercover mission to gain information on the top drug dealers was the day I knew everything was going to crumble to pieces. _

_Tsunade had called me in one evening to talk to me about a new assignment I might be willing to consider. I was puzzled at first why she had not asked Itachi to come along - since he was my partner, after all - but when she finally detailed the task to me I knew exactly why he wasn't there._

"_Sakura," Tsunade had begun sternly, as she always did, "this is an undercover mission I'm placing before you openly."_

_She handed me the paper detailing my assignment, and I scanned it over with nothing more than a distant ache in my veins as a response._

"_Your mission is to blend in with the drug world and uncover any and all information about one of our most wanted criminals -"_

"_Madara," I'd interrupted. I had known it was coming from the unusual coldness in her voice._

"_Correct, Detective." _

"_If you don't mind," I said inquisitively, "why has Detective Uchiha not also been assigned this mission?"_

_I remember the way Tsunade's eyes had flashed with grief. Almost like she knew what great an effect this whole ordeal was going to have on me._

_She told me that she had offered the assignment to me first because she knew of my history with drugs, and knew that with my experience I would be able to access information with great speed and accuracy. If I refused, then she would turn to Itachi for the job._

_So of course I said yes. There was no way in hell I would allow him to be so deeply exposed to such a world as the one I am now so disgustingly accustomed to. _

_As a department, all of you were allowed to know of my mission, but that was it. You knew my objective, my goals, the person I was trying to hunt down. But once I entered the assignment only Tsunade and a few choice people could keep in contact with me, so that suspicions would not be aroused._

_Of course you, Itachi, were not too happy to hear about my assignment. That was the first time I'd ever seen you argue with Tsunade genuinely, and honestly the way you worried about me almost made me regret my decision. Almost is the key word, however. Even to this day I am satisfied with my decision. I'm right where, deep down, I knew I would end up one day._

_So, everything was going well until around two weeks into the mission. I had just gotten off the phone with Tsunade, reporting to her my day's finds, when one of my "drug buddies" appeared from around the corner and questioned who I had been speaking to. I pulled off the lie nonchalantly, but he gave me a wary look and walked away. Throughout the next three days I'd see him whispering to his friends, looking at me with distrust. And after a week, almost everyone was avoiding me, withholding their information that I so desperately needed. _

_Now, if any of you remember, I do not settle for anything less than one hundred percent in anything I do. And I knew that the only way for me to reach that was to completely cut myself off from the real world._

_And that is exactly what I did. That's where I disappeared. That's where my life as Detective Sakura Haruno came to a sudden halt. _

_I lost myself the moment I made that decision. _

_You must all be wondering why I would devote myself so completely to a mere assignment. _Sakura_, I can picture you all thinking, _why the _hell_ were you so stupid? Can't you see you ruined your life over something so simple and melodramatic? Thought you were going to save the day and be the hero, didn't you?

_All I have to say in response is that on some level, those accusations are true. But for me, it's the complete opposite. I wasn't going to be the hero, nor did I want to be. I knew my life would be changed irrevocably by the goal I had set._

_Revenge. Everything, all of it, comes down to revenge in the end. _

_I was selfish in my need for it. I craved it with every little particle in my body, _yearned _for it, and it wasn't until I made that decision that I realized how far I had fallen._

_In that moment I realized I was weak. Revenge was a weakness, and I was overcome by it. I embraced that fact then, and my future was set in stone._

_I talked with Tsunade one last time, and at first she was opposed to the idea, but eventually I convinced her that of anyone I knew what I had to do the most - and that was to disappear completely. So, from that day on, I vanished. You all believed I had just gone missing, and only Tsunade and I were in on what was really happening. I was the one who asked for it to be classified, just so you all know - it wasn't Tsunade fault. None of what has happened was her fault, because I was the one who asked for it. _

_Sakura Haruno disappeared, and you all were left with nothing of what happened. And I'm not sorry in the least for it. _

_I moved in with two old friends of mine whose names I won't disclose for various reasons. One of them was -is, rather- a drug addict, and I tried to gradually influence her out of using. She refused. I guess all the days of being surrounded by drugs both in the city (while I continued my assignment) and at home got to me as the weeks passed on, because one day I found myself at the Pandemonium, not for work, but rather as invited by that same friend for the fun of it. _

_That night I let loose a little, had a couple drinks, and let myself indulge in the rush of it all. It was a terrible mistake. The next night I went out again, and then I found it becoming a regular thing. And, finally, one night I became so drunk - let my guard down so much - that I slept with some random man whom I'd never met before. Actually, he grew to become what I can only call a close acquaintance, but he was there after all. He was a drug addict, but not one of the idiotic types who used just for the hell of it. He was smart, cunning, and a decent guy at the same time, and even though I never got to really know him I figured he'd probably had as rough of a past as mine._

* * *

><p>Sasuke could guess who it was. He remembered the cold, calculating eyes that softened ever so slightly whenever Sakura was around, and the hidden knowledge underneath that seemingly unrevealing exterior.<p>

_Pein._

* * *

><p><em>I learned from him that becoming a drug dealer was one of the easiest ways to gain information. In return for what people wanted, you received not only money but some inkling of trust as well. And I soon found out that I played the part of a trustful, undeceiving go-between perfectly. <em>

_At that time I was still clean, still as pure as someone like me could possibly be. Eventually, however, I found myself connecting with my fourteen-year-old self - that part of me I'd promised I would never touch again - and I hated that fact that I was _willing _to do so. My body thrummed with need, my veins strained for that one thing I hadn't allowed myself to indulge upon in so long. _

_Then one day I gained a new customer, and he was a heroin addict. Just like I used to be. The sight of it, sitting glittering like liquid gold in its syringe, pushed me over the edge._

_It was hell from then on, because I gave in to my weakness completely._

_I controlled myself fairly well even as I continued to descend into my own personal chaos. The revenge - and, consequently, my mission - never left my mind. I never once gave up on searching for him, and now that I look back upon it I figure I threw myself more fully into my assignment, as if fulfilling what I had been ordered to do might justify the highs I so often lost myself in. I made new contacts available to me, and it was as if seeing that I too was an addict made them trust me more. I was just like them - and God did I _loath _having to accept that fact - and thus I was someone they could rely upon, because I knew what they were going through. _

_And my life continued like that, almost a complete blur, until just recently._

_Recently, I met two of the nicest, most sincere boys: that's you, Naruto…_

_As well as you, Sasuke._

* * *

><p>It hurt so much. Hearing her words, knowing she was <em>dead <em>-

Sasuke felt his heart rate speed up, felt the bile rise in his throat, and when he turned to meet his brother's cold gaze upon him, he had to swallow it all away.

He was not going to lose control in front of everyone.

* * *

><p><em>When I first met Naruto at one of the various raves I'd been attending, all I could think about was how bright and full of life he was, even though as the night went on and he came to relax around me he cried and I learned of the loneliness he'd suffered throughout his entire life. He was drunk, but it didn't seem to numb him of his pain. It killed me to see someone so innocent and so radiant break down in front of me. And, blindly, I offered to help him. I'd always hated seeing other people in pain, and so I decided to take his pain upon myself like I had with so many others over the past few years.<em>

_I provided him his very first joint of marijuana._

_If anything, when I saw a person take their first dose of whatever drug they preferred, and then slowly but steadily come to depend their entire life upon it, it hurt me more. I hated to be the one to turn them into a mere copy of myself, but if it could help them with their own inner hell as it did with me - even if only for a moment until the high died down - then it was worth it. _

_For that one night a joint was all Naruto needed to lose himself. And he came back so many times afterward. I gave him ecstasy second, and that push into overwhelming energy and the feeling of being able to conquer anything had him hooked._

_It wasn't until a month after the night I met Naruto that he decided to introduce Sasuke to me. At first, I almost believed he was you, Itachi. Sasuke looked so much like you in the unusual lighting that I could do nothing but stand there, mind devoid of everything but panic, as he walked toward me._

_And then he grew closer, and I was relieved. Relieved, and yet, at the same time, disappointed. It wasn't the man I had abandoned over two years ago, the man I had loved._

_I knew that the Uchihas had suffered from their own losses quite some time ago, and from what Itachi had told me Sasuke had never fully recovered from it._

_Thus, I could do nothing but try to help him. Suffering coming from someone who constantly put up such a strong face, who was so pure yet so traumatized, was something I couldn't handle. I gave Sasuke his first joint of marijuana dipped in PCP, and, like Naruto just a month earlier, that was the end of that._

_There was something about the two of them, though, that intrigued me. Naruto never lost that radiance within him. He was a flame, untamed and indestructible. Not even after all the raves and the drugs and the alcohol did that flame waver, and it was something I have come to admire in him over the past few months._

_Then there was Sasuke. Sasuke, who, upon discovering my world, finally came to terms with his own fears and his own insecurities. He never was one to truly give himself over to drugs, and that was so apparent to me in the weary look in his eyes whenever I saw him take that first drag of the night. It was something he hated to do, but something that brought him the most peace he'd been able to find, even if he himself didn't realize it. He was able to control it. The drugs never once made the decision - every time, he was able to make the choice. And that, the fact that he was strong enough to overcome such a deadly force that I myself couldn't even restrain, was what truly allowed me to let him in._

_It wasn't until several weeks ago that we were finally able to connect. I showed up on his doorstep needing someone who I knew could take me away from it all, and I found just that. _

_I'll have you know, Sasuke, that I have never used as less in any given period of time over the last two years than I did when I was with you. You became someone I could trust, someone who wasn't easy to judge and someone unlike any others I had met before. You were my friend, my brother, my reliance and my escape all in one. I had the greatest time trying to figure you out, trying to decipher just exactly who and what Sasuke Uchiha truly was. You were a mystery to me, and at times I could almost believe I was talking to Itachi instead of you. The way both of you held so many secrets and the way some of your mannerisms were identical became almost comical to me, and at the same time it pained me, for it brought back memories I had long since repressed._

_But you aren't him, Sasuke, and it took me much longer than it should have to realize it._

_You and only you, Sasuke, offered me so much - your rare smiles, the nights out alone with just the two of us, the secrets we shared and the glimpses into your soul every now and then that I knew you never allowed anyone else the pleasure of seeing - in the darkest period of my life, and I would like to thank you a million times over for what you have given me. You have given me happiness, and I cannot even begin to tell you how much that means to me. _

_Last night, Sasuke, was undoubtedly what finally brought me to my realization. When you thought I was asleep and you told me that you loved me - you, so kind and knowing and _full of heart _underneath that aloof exterior you seem to constantly grasp onto - I found myself facing a fact that was so startling yet filled me with so much warmth and contentment that I found myself shedding a tear when I hadn't cried in what seemed like fifty years._

_And I realized that I love you too, Sasuke._

* * *

><p>He felt as if someone was stabbing him in the heart a hundred times over. He was falling apart from the inside out and there was nothing left to hold him together.<p>

Slowly, numbly, he slid down the wall and brought his knees up, crossing his arms and burying his face in them to try to salvage whatever pride he had left as the tears leaked over and his chest heaved with the astounding ache of it all.

* * *

><p><em>I had believed myself to be unfeeling and incapable of love ever since I left Itachi, but you proved me wrong. I was - am, actually - in love with you, and to me it was almost unbelievable. It brought me so much pleasure to come to that realization.<em>

_But I realized soon after that it would hurt me that much more to say goodbye._

_I knew that we - meaning the few close informants I had and myself - were growing closer to our goal. Madara's movements had steadily been growing clearer to us as we learned more and more, and I knew that it wouldn't be long before we had him. After two long, arduous years of searching, we would reach our objective._

_And I had known for so long what I was going to do when we did._

_Coming to the realization that you loved me, Sasuke, and that I loved you back only strengthened my decision. For even though you never truly gave into the drugs, I could tell that they hurt you, and it killed me that I was the one who showed you such a dark and tainted world. Because this world that I live in leaves an irreversible mark no matter what you do with it or what it does to you, and I had been the one to introduce you to it._

_And not just you. Naruto, my close friends, people who I cared about and so many others. All of them I had coated with my corruption, all because I hated to see them suffer from life's unrelenting ways. I didn't want any of them to feel the pain of what had happened to me as a child, and so I offered them the same salvation I had become addicted to._

_I understood from the very beginning that in the end it would only harm them more, and that has been the second largest factor in my decision: the knowledge that I hurt so many people, including those I cared for. But I guess that, most of all, what brought about my decision in the first place was my own weakness. _

_I have come to hate - no, hate seems too general of a word; I have come to absolutely _abhor _the person I have become, the person I now know I have been ever since I had my innocence stolen from me but have unconsciously ignored since my parents died. I _despise _having to rely upon such a thing as heroin to keep myself intact; I _loath _looking at myself in the mirror and knowing that the only thing that got that sorry excuse of a human being through the day was a dose of golden poison and the lifeline of revenge. _

_Even though I know Madara is in custody now as you read this, if I were to live I would spend each and every day with the picture of my hands strangling him to death, making him feel exactly what my parents had before they died, and it would drive me crazy knowing that he was within my reach - in prison, being fed and kept alive as if he hadn't done anything - and yet I couldn't do anything to him. I couldn't touch him, hurt him, and oh _God _does the very thought of making him suffer sound so delightfully appealing, even now. This is what I have become, and I know that if I even tried to separate myself completely from it - from heroin and the revenge - I wouldn't survive. I wouldn't survive, for I am weak and I am incompetent and I am _God damn unworthy _to have any sort of presence in your lives. _

_So why not take things into my own grasp and spare you all the pain?_

_Why not just get myself killed, and why not have it be by the hands of the person I regret leaving the most? _

_Why not let him - why not let _you, _Itachi - have the honor of ending the life of the girl who you thought you loved so much and yet who never let you see the monster she truly was because she didn't even know it herself?_

_Because you fell in love with a lie, Itachi, and I am so, so sorry I caused you so much pain. I am so, _so _sorry it took the receiving of my mission two years ago to come to terms with who I have been all along._

_And that was my decision._

_I found out only a few hours ago that my informants had finally cornered Madara along with four others on our most wanted list, and I faced the fact that it was all going to end for me soon. I called Tsunade and let her know so that my assignment could officially be fulfilled, but I thought that I might enjoy some of my time with Sasuke before I left. The selfishness inside of me wanted to cling to him for as long as possible, to love him and be loved with every fiber of my being and continue to taint him before I had to leave._

_But knowing that Naruto was sent to the hospital this morning and that he might die because of me has brought me here. I have had enough._

_You know the rest. _

_So, before I go - or rather, before I go to see you all - I want to say one last thing._

_I hope you can all find it in you to forgive me somehow - even though I am the one person who would understand the most if you didn't. Having your forgiveness might grant me some peace wherever in hell I'm sent to in the afterlife._

_Now that I'm here, about to trigger the events that will lead to my death, I remember this one quote I read a long time ago, when I first began using as a teenager. I ignored it for the longest time, but now I can only think about how true it is._

"_All sins tend to be addictive, and the terminal point of addiction is damnation."_

_Quite the fitting end, isn't it?_

_I'll miss you guys._

_- Sakura_

* * *

><p>Silence reigned in the packed room. Sasuke didn't dare lift his head. His face still streamed with tears and he was afraid the looks of the people around him might give him that last final push, and he would fall completely over the edge.<p>

Only at the sound of quick, light footsteps did Sasuke risk a glance. He lifted his eyes just in time to see Itachi's back as he stepped swiftly out of the room. For a split second, as Itachi turned to head down the hall, Sasuke saw his brother's profile. Never before had he seen such an empty, lifeless look in Itachi's obsidian eyes. His face was as impassive as stone.

But Sasuke didn't miss the stray, single tear that had slipped past his brother's nearly unbreakable exterior.

He needed to get away. The room was suffocating him. His throat constricted again and again, and his heart thundered painfully in his chest. He wanted to scream so bad, to just let it all out and _escape_ -

"You are dismissed," he vaguely heard Tsunade croak. As he watched, the long-haired man from before - Neji - led his sobbing partner - Tenten - out of the room, a hand place gently at the small of her back as his own eyes gleamed with sorrow. The rest of them - most crying, the few who weren't obviously distraught - filed out of the room as quietly as they could. Sasuke only received a few stray glances, but he chose to ignore the blame he knew would be apparent in them.

After a good minute only he and Tsunade were left. When he glanced up at her from her frozen stance at the podium across the room, he saw that she was staring silently down at Sakura's letters. Her bottom lip began to tremble, and then her eyes closed.

Sasuke stood up and exited the room as her tears overflowed.

* * *

><p><strong>in<strong>·san<strong>·i<strong>·ty<strong>******

\in-san-i-tee\, noun;

- the condition of being insane; a derangement of the mind

- such unsoundness of mind as frees one from legalresponsibility, as for committing a crime, or as signals one'slack of legal capacity, as for entering into a contractual agreement

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Well, this came out a little later than I had planned, but at least it didn't take as long as the last chapter and it's over ten pages! :D

I wrote Sakura's letter with the notion that in the story it had been written by a heroin abuser whose brain had probably corroded significantly by the time of her death, so if you thought it was a little jumpy or it seemed not to flow very well, just remember that. Or you could blame it on me and my own rather corrupted mind. I wouldn't blame you.

Well, as I am typing this I am traveling with my family California-bound (which is home-bound for me) through Idaho (a.k.a. the Potato State) after having visited UW and WSU in Washington as possible colleges (although I am in love with WSU and will most likely end up attending college there - go Cougs!). Over 38 hours in the car has given me a significant amount of time to catch up on this story and stare lovingly out the window at all the beautiful trees.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and, if you would, please review! Once I'm able to sit at home with the Internet for a day I'll make sure to get around to responding to all of you who shared your thoughts with me (I'm sorry I've neglected you so much! I've been SO BUSY these last few months with tests and such).

I love you all!

Please and thank you,

Silver Echo


	15. Closure

**Disclaimer: **I don't own Naruto.

(_Warning: _dark fic.)

**Alerion**

:

Part the Fifteenth:

:

_Closure_

:

* * *

><p>He didn't attend Sakura's funeral two weeks later.<p>

Tsunade had called him in six days after the incident, once Sakura's case had been nearly wrapped up and things were beginning to die down after the news of her death had been released to the public. She'd taken him to be blood tested, but it seemed as if any lingering remains from his last few hits of marijuana over a month ago had been flushed out of his blood stream and there was no way to confirm physically that he had ever even used. Even though he was willing to consent and take any punishment set upon him, Tsunade said she was tired of everything that had happened and would instead only show his clean records to her superiors.

He asked her if that was legal, and she told him she didn't really give a shit either way.

"I've had enough of all this," she'd responded wearily. "I'm going to quit here soon - this job has taken its toll on me and I don't think I could survive if something like this ever happened again. I'd rather not send another person to jail if I can help it."

He'd only continued to look at her silently.

She met his unrevealing gaze with steady amber eyes. "Sakura's funeral is going to be next week. It's going to be more of the Police Department's doing - meaning only a few outsiders will be allowed in - but I don't mind if you show up as well, seeing as…seeing as you were the closest to her before she died."

He'd swallowed, and when he replied his voice was hoarse with the lack of sleep he'd had since her death. "I think I'll pass, Chief."

She'd paused. "Is it Itachi?"

That, and the fact that he wouldn't be able to handle himself at the sight of her lifeless body. It was out of the question - he didn't need her funeral to make him feel alive. "More or less. I haven't seen him since…since you read her letters."

"I understand then."

Just as Sasuke turned to exit the room, Tsunade called softly to him, "Just make sure you go check on your friend, Naruto, in the hospital soon. He'll have some community service to complete once he's better since it can't be denied that he used illegal substances, but other than that the law is still pretty lenient - or, better yet, still being decided since it's such a controversial subject. He woke up this morning and was told about the incident. I'm sure he's not taking it very well, although it seems that he's had a visitor checking in on him since he was admitted." Her voice allowed him to guess that she knew exactly who the visitor was (as he could also hypothesize) yet she was going to leave the matter alone and out of the hands of the police.

Sasuke nodded briskly, his eyes still focused on the door. He heard the rustling of papers behind him, and his eyes widened when he felt an envelope being pressed into his hand. His eyes flashed up to meet Tsunade's grieving yet hardened gaze.

"He'll want you to read these to him," she ordered, then stepped back and moved to sit at her desk.

He stood still for a moment before her voice reached him one last time.

"And, Sasuke, don't avoid Itachi much longer. He needs support more than you think, and you're the only one left he can trust, even if you believe so otherwise."

With a clench of his jaw he was out the door and gone.

* * *

><p>When Sasuke went to visit Naruto the next day, he found the blonde sitting with Hinata on his hospital bed, a small smile on his face as he watched Hinata delicately cut an apple into slices and then deposit them into a bowl, her gaze lowered and cheeks lightly flushed.<p>

Naruto had just taken the first bite of one when Sasuke pushed open the door and stepped soundlessly into the room. The blonde swallowed as his blue gaze hardened slightly, but Sasuke could see that the hatred Naruto had expressed six days ago was gone.

Hinata stood up and bowed before leaving the room, sensing that the two needed some time alone. She gave Sasuke a small, understanding smile before she closed the door behind her.

Sasuke stood motionless for another minute, unsure of exactly where to start.

"Nice to see you haven't killed yourself, man," Naruto finally began casually.

And Sasuke relaxed as much as he possibly could anymore, and stepped toward the bed, the letters clenched in his hand.

* * *

><p>Naruto had read the letters to himself - seeing as there was no feasible way Sasuke could go through that again - and had reacted with sad, heartbreaking blue eyes as he silently cried afterwards, unburdened by Sasuke's presence.<p>

He wiped his nose when he finished, then turned his melancholy gaze to Sasuke. "I guess we should've seen something like this coming," he said softly, and frowned after, closing his eyes and turning away to hide the last few tears that had yet to escape.

Sasuke remained silent, his only response the tightening of his closed fist.

"Hinata told me what happened," Naruto continued once he had collected himself. "She's been watching over me since I was admitted, and she's been taking care of me since I woke up yesterday. She said she's never used drugs and doesn't plan to." He smiled gently. "Hinata had always been there for her friends when they needed help, because she knew they each had their own demons to deal with." He paused. "She told me stories about the good times she, Ino and Sakura had back in high school. She said Sakura had been the mother hen to their little family of friends. I can picture it perfectly."

Sasuke could see it so clearly it hurt. He closed his eyes for a moment before reopening them.

"Well," Naruto said, and placed another apple slice in his mouth; he chewed and swallowed before continuing quietly, "now we can only make use of the memories we have and try to move on, right? Sakura's gone" - his voice faltered - "and there's nothing we can do to change it."

Sasuke wanted to lash out at Naruto, to shake him and scream into his face that there was no such thing as moving on, that healing from this for Sasuke just _wasn't possible_ -

But he kept his mouth shut and remained unmoving, because he knew something like that would shatter the fragile peace Naruto had momentarily created for himself.

Sasuke turned to indicate he was leaving.

"Do you think I could keep these letters?" Naruto questioned. "I want Hinata to read them. She deserves them more than I did."

Sasuke paused before nodding slightly - a small jerk of his head - and turned the doorknob, stepped out of the room, and closed the door softly behind him.

He twisted his head to his left to meet a pair of clear, pale violet eyes.

"I-is he alright?" Hinata asked delicately. She was genuinely concerned, that Sasuke could easily tell.

"Yeah," Sasuke responded in a short, clipped tone. "He'll be fine."

"T-thank you, Sasuke," Hinata's voice caught him before he could begin to walk away.

He paused to listen.

"You allowed Sakura to t-truly live before she d-died when I don't think she e-ever had the c-chance to before. A-and I would l-like to thank you for that."

He felt his chest tighten considerably. His throat began to burn.

He walked away without saying anything because there was nothing he could find within himself to say.

* * *

><p>Sasuke learned within the next few days that Sakura's friend Ino had heard about her friend's death and hadn't smoked since. Hinata even told him that Ino had signed herself up for rehab, finally after having come to the realization that the drugs had prevented her from being aware of any of Sakura's problems while she was alive, and maybe even then also having denied her the chance of saving her once dear friend. Hinata said Ino was on the right path to learning her lesson about life and how delicate it was, and that rehab for her would prove to be the best thing available.<p>

Not that Sasuke really cared. He was just glad that she was being force-fed the same reality he and all the others, including the department and Naruto, were as a result of Sakura's death.

* * *

><p>It wasn't until the day after Sakura's funeral that Sasuke finally decided to visit Itachi.<p>

He approached the door to his brother's apartment warily, making sure to take careful steps as he came to face it.

Sasuke knocked once, waited a good six seconds, and then the door was ripped open.

"What do you want, Sasuke?"

Itachi's voice was worn out, his eyes weary, his whole body seeming to crumble with exhaustion.

Sasuke opened his mouth, then closed it. He'd never seen his brother look so totally defeated, as if life had had its way with him and he'd completely given up. The shock rendered him speechless.

"If you have nothing to say, then leave." This time a flicker of energy - anger, irritation, anxiety, what that flash was Sasuke couldn't tell - entered Itachi's deadened gaze, and Sasuke finally recovered his voice.

"I just…I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." He swallowed. "For everything."

"What is there to apologize for?" The elder Uchiha's tone was distant, even cold.

"For not telling you about Sakura when I knew all about her!" Sasuke snapped. "That night I came to you I had met with her less than twenty-four hours before!" Sasuke found his voice rising, gravelly and hoarse. "I'm sorry for lying to you, I'm sorry I couldn't save her, I'm sorry I was too selfish to give her back to you when I should've" - Sasuke inhaled unsteadily - "I should have _known _bringing her back would've been the best thing for her -"

"But it wasn't what she would've wanted," Itachi cut in quietly.

Sasuke clenched his jaw.

"Although you knew who she really was better than I, even I can tell that Sakura got what she wanted and wouldn't have been satisfied any other way. There is nothing to apologize for, Sasuke -"

_Except for the fact that I stole the only girl you've loved since Mother died, except for the fact that I betrayed you and hurt you and I don't think you can ever trust me again -_

"- so just let it be. We can't change what has happened."

And with that, Itachi slammed the door closed.

Sasuke could hear the sound of a vase being thrown into a wall just a few moments later. The sound of it shattering - he could just imagine the broken pieces falling at his brother's feet - compelled him to the window, where the curtains on the inside were parted just enough for Sasuke to see in the apartment.

He found that Itachi had sank to the ground against the wall in his kitchen, oblivious to the sharp slivers of glass surrounding him, and had pulled his knees close to his chest. His forehead was pressed into his open palms, his face not within Sasuke's view.

On top of the counter directly across the elder Uchiha, among the broken remains of the greater percentage of Itachi's dishware and home decorations, stood a single framed photo of Sakura and Itachi together. Sakura's lips were pulled into a secretive smile, her eyes closed as she pressed a kiss to Itachi's cheek. The elder Uchiha had his arms around her waist, his mouth a slight upward tilt, his warm obsidian gaze forever locked on her.

The portrait was the only thing in the room Sasuke could see that was unbroken.

Silently, he backed away from the window and gave his brother the privacy Sasuke knew he desperately needed.

Because even though Itachi had said that they couldn't change what had happened, he seemed to be the very one who had yet to come to terms with the reality of his own statement.

* * *

><p>Everything was fragile in the world. Sasuke came to know this with each passing day.<p>

Every second without her smiling face filling his gaze was just another reminder. Each glance at Itachi's dull eyes, each flash of pink he saw, each _goddamn _moment that she wasn't with him only reinforced his belief in the statement.

He was fragile, he knew, able to break so easily, just like so many other things. One touch to the trigger, and he was shattered, never quite able to put the pieces back together in their original positions. He was chipped in places, his own life's puzzle so different from what it used to be that he could barely recognize himself.

Pieces were moved, some discarded - never to return - and then some changed as a whole. Resentment toward life grew into respect, disinterest into passion, oblivion into knowledge.

…sadness, into even more sadness. But it was such a melancholy that didn't quite fade away as it pulsed within him every second he lived. It was there when he quit business school and began criminal justice classes, it was there when he went to sleep every night, and it was there when he steadily began to cope with the pain instead of dwelling in it.

He came to accept the fact that she wasn't coming back. Sakura was dead, and there was nothing he could do to change it. Albeit, that acceptance came with many hardships and many cases of denial on his part, but still, it came, and Sasuke finally learned.

He closed his eyes and drew in a deep breath, these thoughts floating around in his mind, as the sky lightened above him. His legs hung off the side of the cliff, and not for the first time he considered jumping in after her.

But that would be giving up completely, as she had done, and he knew she would want him to live out the life she was never given the chance to have.

Sasuke opened his eyes, squinting as the first few rays of sunlight streamed through the clouds. The gorge below him was quiet, and he watched as the water became tinted with gold.

After a few moments, Sasuke slowly rose from his sitting position, dusting off his jeans. His classes began at nine, and he didn't want to be late.

With that, Sasuke shoved his hands in his pockets and turned away.

Just as he was about to open his car, however, he glanced back over his shoulder, and paused. The sun broke through completely above him, shining light upon the ominous scene, and with a small upward curve of his lips, he ducked into his car and drove away.

He'd return to visit her soon, after all.

* * *

><p>Sasuke wasn't a perfect child. He had smoked something far worse than ordinary cigarettes, cheated on life, and lied to both himself and others more than could be forgiven. He wasn't a perfect child, and, yes, his parents were dead - had died long ago - but the loss didn't affect him as much as it used to; the loss of the girl he loved stood prevalent above all else. Still, he did his best to deal with the pain, to accept the fact that he would wake up every day for the rest of his life and never be able to see her beautiful smile again, and he promised himself never to go back to what he had become; and, this time, he would keep his promise, not just for himself, but for his brother - who Sasuke could see inwardly struggle with the loss everyday as he continued his job as a detective, partner-less and lacking that certain spark of life in his eyes ever since the incident - his best friend - who, after coming to terms fully with the death of the girl he claimed he'd loved and recovering from his addiction, had started dating Hinata and gradually found happiness once again - and, above all, for his reason for existing: Sakura - the one and only girl Sasuke knew he would ever love so much.<p>

Because the day Naruto showed up to college high, he entered a world he had never known before, a world that became both his hell and his paradise, and he was never going back to it.

And so destiny had crept in, its wisdom teaching him the pain and thrill of falling in love, its severity tearing his definition of the world to nonexistence, its ways rupturing, shifting, healing…

And, piece by agonizing piece, destiny showed him just how precious life truly was.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **Holy crap. It's finished. FINALLY.

And thus marks the end of _Alerion_. It's been a long journey, but I'm glad I was able to spend it with you awesome people who have stuck with me through my sporadic updates and chronic writer's block. If not for your constant prompting, I don't think I would've gotten around to finishing this, but alas, here we are.

This story kind of ran away from me in the beginning, and I'm glad I was able to bring myself back down to earth and actually wrap it up in at least a semi-pleasing way. I don't think I would have liked it to end any other way, and I hope you all feel the same.

So, one last time (at least with this story; my fan fiction days are far from over), I would be immensely happy if you'd review, because I crave your opinions more than anything.

I love you all so much, and thank you for fighting through this with me.

Sincerely,

Silver Echo

P.S. I've also drawn a picture of Sakura for this story, if you'd like to see it. The link is on my profile.

P.P.S. Criminal justice courses are often the first steps of entering the police force. Think of that what you may. :)

P.P.S. Lastly, if you would all check out my new story, _Shinka_, I would be overjoyed. It's SasuSaku, of course, and this time I made my first real attempt at keeping Sasuke in character, so I would love to hear your thoughts on how I did!


End file.
